1. Pastry chef who falls down stairs after announcing “8 …COCONUT CUSTARD… PIES!!!” (et. al.) should sue somebody’s ass.
2. Bert and Ernie dedicate all time and resources toward supporting same-sex marriage legislation. (Those two! I KNEW it!!)
3. Owing to education budget cuts, Sesame street only teaches letters A through N.
4. Oscar busted with Crystal Meth lab in trash can, but still gets elected as Brooklyn Borough President.
5. Gordon and Susan go through nasty divorce, ripe with unwarranted domestic violence police reports and Susan throwing all Gordon’s stuff out window, shouting “Why don’t you keep this crap over at your whore slut girlfriend’s house?!?!?!”
6. Big Bird forced to register as Megan’s Law offender after allegedly making advances at Zoey by way of singing her a lewd parody verse of the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ song.
7. The Count Von Count should occasionally be interrupted while counting so that a third party government agency can perform an audit.
8. Any time a muppet approaches a child in a skit, said child screams “STRANGER!!!!” kicks for their groin and runs away.
9. Every time Elmo visits the psychedelic “Elmo’s World” a Sesame Street Human Resources representative is there to make him pee in a cup
10. Due to Global Warming all muppets are shaved down to their bare carcass.
BONUS: The Cookie Monster (more recently known as The Veggie Monster) finally falls victim to the Tobacco Lobby. He is known as “The Butt Monster,” and smokes a carton a week.
Eric Ruhalter lives in Morristown, New Jersey with his wife, Kara & 3 rambunctious children. Eric is the creator of The KidDicitonary – A Book of Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids. For more of his wit and wisdom, except for wisdom, amuse yourself at www.TheKidDictionary.com.
Our latest Blog Talk Radio show was great fun with Roscoe Orman, better known to little ones as Gordon from Sesame Street and chief storyteller for AudibleKids.com who, along with AudibleKids CEO Brian Fitzgerald shared all the great stories and deals the site has for families this spring and summer. Check out the site today and find your kids’ favorite stories at your fingertips! Also appearing on today’s show was our favorite Traveling Mom Kim Orlando and Katja Presnal, with Skimbaco Lifestyle who recently returned from a Thelma and Louise journey from Detroit, compliments of the Ford Hybrid.
Come and Play: The New Sesame Street.org
There’s a new way for the web-savvy under five set to get their Elmo fix–the newly re-launched Sesamestreet.org. The entire ‘hood is there, with Muppets in residence educating and entertaining tots with games, adventures and loads of interactive fun.
The site runs on Flash and opens to a homepage featuring a rotating cast of characters that prompt users to engage in various activities that include old favorites from the original site and new content. Thousands of videos teach and entertain (many that will leave you with a nostalgic twinge) and hundreds of games promote counting, sorting, letter recognition and creativity.
Parents will love the customizable “Play List” which allows them to create their own experience by picking and choosing favorite characters, games and themes for their kids to play; the “Play Safe” feature prevents kids from navigating the web browser away from the Sesame Street content, thus securing and safeguarding kids’ online play.
One of our favorite features–the kid-friendly, oversized, star-shaped cursor that sparkles over anything clickable and makes navigation a piece of cake.