Joe the Plumber…Where Are You Now?

crack.jpgNow that Senator McCain has been sent back to his day job, I know you’re all wondering…what’s going to happen to Joe the plumber (bet you thought I was going to say Sarah Palin). Well, I’ll tell you what Joe, or Sam or whatever his name is, is doing now that he’s no longer on the front page of newspapers or on the tips of the tongues of debating presidential candidates. He’s unclogging drains.
To be more precise, that’s what my Joe the plumber was doing yesterday. You see, over the last two years, we’ve kind of let the clogs in our house fester – to the point where it takes at least 10 minutes for the kids’ tub to drain. I was in denial for the better part of that time but the other night, we came home to find our basement ceiling saturated in water. While I began conjuring up visions that those clogs were going to cause our ceilings to cave in, I instantly phoned our plumber (who I happen to have on speed dial) and explained our situation.
The next morning, Joe showed up early…(imagine that) and proceeded to tell me that the water on the ceiling had nothing to do with the clogs in the drains. It was actually connected to another problem that I was going to have to deal with – our gutters were stuffed with leaves and dirt and the excess water was pouring into our house. Translation – I had to hire someone else to clean out the gutters. While Joe was about to leave, I asked him to fix the drains since he was already at our house and I figured if I didn’t ask right then and there, another two years would pass.
And so, Joe checked our drains and found lots of gunk and hair. So much so that it took him at least four hours to snake everything out. Finally, after he had gone out to rent an airvac to suction out our pipes, the problem was fixed and we were able to enjoy tubs and showers that empty within seconds – what a concept.
As I watched Obama’s first press conference later that afternoon, I thought to myself, how lucky I am to have Joe the Plumber in my life. And I’m sure now that the other Joe is out of the limelight, his customers feel the exact same way.
Incidentally, if you are like me and are wondering how you can prevent your drains from clogging so that you don’t have to hire Joe the Plumber to fix them every few years, our favorite Green Home Mom, Michelle Roberts, co-founder of Ecohealth Designs offers her tried and true advice:
The Eco-Friendly Way to Unclog Drains:
Mix Boiling hot water, a bit of baking soda, and vinegar!
The big thing is, wipe down your shower and drain after each shower or bath.
Preventative is always the best.

Things Barack Obama Can Do to Save Money on the Campaign Trail

If you read my post yesterday, you will know that I am not too pleased about the fact that I’ve been hit up for donations one too many times by our Democratic candidate. I do want to support him in his efforts to land the hot seat in the White House, and so, I’ve come up with the following cost cutting measures that might save him some $$$ and enable him to not hit the rest of us up for cash from now until November 4.
#1 – Find out who bought the airplane that Sarah Palin auctioned off on Ebay and see if you can buy it from the owner. Then use that plane to fly to your various campaign locations.
#2 – Rent a tricked out tour bus from a country music artist who may be taking a breather between now and their next road tour. Trust me, I’ve seen Reba McEntire’s bus and it is pretty fancy!
#3 – Make a deal with an airline like American, or Jet Blue or Trans Air and board a few of their empty flights that take you to key campaign locations. Plus, Jet Blue is offering $50 off for air travel from now until November 15 – you could probably save lots of cash for you and your secret service detail and give the airlines a boost in the process.
#4 – Hitchhike. I know it’s dangerous but if you get in touch with all the people who donated money to your campaign and then asked them to give you a lift from city to city, I’d bet they’d oblige. Call it the Obama hitch a ride to the White House tour.
#5 – Take Amtrak. I don’t know about you, but when I was working in the entertainment world, I once sent an actor all the way from New York City to Los Angeles by train because he was afraid to fly. You can pretty much pick up a train in every city and again, I’m sure the PR department at Amtrak would gladly give up a few Business Class seats free of charge.
#6 – Rent a Zip Car or a Hybrid like a Prius, cram your staff inside and drive cross country. Sure it might be a tight squeeze, but what a road trip that would be!
#7 – Borrow celebrity planes. I’m sure that plenty of celebrity pilots would gladly hand over the keys to their planes to get you from Mississippi to Milwaukee. Is John Travolta a Democrat? He is a F.O.O. (friend of Oprah) so I’m sure he’d be happy to lend you his private plane.
#10 – Walk. I know it’s insane – but didn’t you love the part in “Forrest Gump” where he walks across the United States over the course of one year. Sure it took him longer than 6 weeks and yes, it was a movie, but wouldn’t it be cool to use the ankle express and get Americans to join your foot patrol?
#11 – Skype Me or do a Webcast. If you really want to reach millions of people fast, then tell us your skype address and give us a jingle. Or, you can host a webinar like Ekhart Toile or however you spell his name. A bazillion people logged onto that one and even after I bought his book, I still don’t know what he wants me to do with my life to make it better.
#12 – Appear on Saturday Night Live. I know Hurricane Ike prevented you from making it to New York, but trust me, appear on the show this weekend, have a kick ass sense of humor and you’ll get 7 million more eyeballs and possibly millions more votes. I mean McCain can’t crack a joke – you’ve at least got a leg up in that area.
#13 – Travel with a baseball team to all their games leading up to the World Series and throw out the first pitch at every single game. Mets would be preferable but I’ll understand if you choose the Cubs.
#14 – Board a cruise ship that travels to several key cities in the U.S. and help the ice sculptor for the midnight buffet create a bust in your image. Obama on ice…now that’s something I’d pay money to see.
#15 – Tour with the your favorite rock group or with another performer who happens to be hitting the cities you need to visit in order to win votes. By the way, can you sing? I mean Clinton and the saxophone went a long way. If you’re holding out on us and can actually play an instrument or sing a tune, now is your chance to win over some music lovers.
I’m sure there are plenty more suggestions but these are just a few that I think will save you millions! If anyone has any more bright ideas for Barack, please let me know. And please know – I am not singling him out – the Republicans know better not to send me Donate Now emails – I’ve already showed my cards with my posts on Sarah Palin – incidentally – favorite Facebook Group of the day which everyone should join: This Group has a larger population than Wasilla, Alaska.

Obama’s Favorite Book…

My daughter was working on a harmless homework assignment about the presidential campaign and showed me a page that I thought had to be mentioned on my blog. The page featured favorite things of each of the candidates and at first, I really wasn’t surprised. John McCain’s favorite food is chocolate while Obama’s is chili. McCain’s favorite TV show is “24” (who knew?) and Obama’s? Sportscenter – typical male.
Favorite heroes:
McCain: Teddy Roosevelt
Obama: Martin Luther King Jr.
But then, I came upon their favorite book and that’s what disturbed me.
McCain: For Whom the Bell Tolls (Ernest Hemingway)
Obama: The Biography of Malcolm X
What the? I mean, I saw the Denzel Washington movie (aka Spike Lee) and maybe Malcolm X had good intentions and all, but his movement did lead to a lot of radical stuff. Should I be concerned that this is Obama’s favorite book of all time? Or just leave it at that? I don’t know but a person’s favorite books, favorite ministers, and friends all having questionable connections doesn’t sit well with me.
I refuse to sit out of this election but I have to say between Obama and McCain, they are making it very hard for me to make a decision that I feel comfortable with. Memo to Hillary: time to dust off the pant suits and run on the Independent ticket!!!

If You Can’t Stand the Heat…

Sheesh. It’s funny, I’ve been blogging at Working Mother for the last nine months and have hardly gotten a response to my posts. That is until today. I decided to take on a dicey topic. Politics. And I got slammed. Slammed by Republicans, by older women who have been there, done that; slammed by women whose husbands have served in the military, and pretty much made to feel like if I don’t know my facts about the candidates, then I should just shut my pie hole.
Ouch.
Here’s the deal-io my fine, well-educated feminist friends on both sides of the Republican and Democratic fence. Most Americans don’t know the nitty gritty facts about all the candidates and their stance on all the issues affecting Americans. Plain and simple, many of us vote with our emotions. We make our decisions after watching negative ads or seeing news reports about a candidate’s latest indiscretion. Sadly, we vote like we’re selecting an American Idol contestant. And that is the cold hearted truth. Sure there are some who research all the issues and make an informed decision after they’ve weighed the pros and cons, but when it comes to the current political climate, we’ve just turned up the heat to broil.
Women are saying we should support Sarah Palin just because she’s a woman and if we say petty or jealous things, then we should be ashamed of ourselves. I truly don’t believe I’m jealous of Sarah Palin or being petty for that matter. What I do know is while I respect the things she’s accomplished in her political career, I don’t believe in her stance on issues that affect women. Just because she’s a part of my team, I still don’t feel compelled to support her. Others say we should support Barack Obama because he represents change. And while he has motivated millions with his incredible oratorical skills, conservatives maintain that he has yet to singlehandedly pass a bill or law since taking office. Republicans say we should vote for John McCain because he’s a war hero and will protect us from terrorists at all costs by keeping us in Iraq for 100 years. And Democrats say we should support an Obama/Biden ticket, because Joe Biden is a really decent guy who has tons of foreign policy experience and will finally get our troops out of Iraq.
I guess since I’m sharing my opinions for the world to see I’m fair game for those who think I’m a petty, heartless shrew who shouldn’t be throwing my two cents into an election process I know nothing about. And if I make a joke about a candidate, watch out, I’m going to be lynched by an angry mob of humorless political die-hards.
Here’s what I know about what I want from whomever is elected to office. I don’t want to see anymore friends lose their jobs. I don’t want to ever lose another dear friend to a terrorist attack. I want our environment to be safe for our children. I want my daughter to pursue whatever she wants in her life free of guilt that she’s neglecting her own kids in the process. I want to see cures for cancer, Alzheimer’s and heart disease in my lifetime and I want people to stop being so damn mean on the Internet when others share their honest opinions. Maybe I’m a culprit too and for that, I apologize for being so heartless with my choice of words. Honestly, I write things to be funny and if it seems insensitive, then I’m sorry I offended you, your political candidate and the entire female gender.
Now I’m off to find out more about Ron Paul.