The Girdle Chronicles

thighfat-main_Full.jpgI don’t know why, but every time I visit my parents in Southampton, I immediately come to the conclusion that it’s time to suck it up and visit the nearest Weight Watchers center stat. Today’s incident du jour involved a stroll down Job’s lane and an unintentionally rude comment about my body shape by a tactless shop girl.
So let’s start with the stroll. If you have never visited the Hamptons and are packing on some extra pounds, this is your alert to stay far far away from Southampton. The reason my flabby friend is simple. The place has been infiltrated by long legged models, Italian tourists and wealthy socialites with perfect knees, pouty collagen injected lips, designer sun dresses, $1000 handbags and bazillion dollar sandals. Walking along the streets of Southampton used to be relaxing. Now it’s more like I’ve just stepped into a scene from the Real Housewives reality show.
Which leads me to the experience I’m sure I’ll one day forget when I’m residing at an assisted living facility in Boca. These days, we pretty much avoid most of the shops in the area since their prices have hit the stratosphere. Sorry Ms. Snooty Store Manager. I refuse to pay $300 for the same sequined top I saw in your store last season for $49 thank you very much. But there are a few shops with decent prices and so, when a gorgeous black and white flouncy dress caught my eye, I decided to give it a shot and step inside for a closer look see. After selecting three dresses in what I thought was my size (at least it’s my size at Ann Taylor), I slipped into the dressing room and then wrestled to get my body into the first outfit. At first, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fit the dress over my thighs. And so, I decided instead to slip it over my head. Next, after I zipped it up and attempted to buckle a wide belt to complete the ensemble, I swung open the door to show my mom and then it happened.
“Oh, that dress doesn’t look good on you at all. It makes you look really hippy.”
Now who do you think uttered that phrase? Well, it wasn’t my mom. Nor was it a middle aged sales clerk because if it had been a woman who was 10 years older than me, she would have said, “Honey, you look lovely. Now let me show you some accessories that’ll accentuate your lovely neckline.” But to my chagrin, there was a twentysomething rail thin salesgirl on duty who pulled no punches.
Sure, I know my hips have expanded as of late – possibly because I spend way too much time sitting on the couch typing away on my computer then taking yoga, spinning and pilates classes, but isn’t there a salesgirl code of conduct or something? Are you supposed to tell your patrons when they look fat in a form fitting dress or just keep it to yourself? To make matters worse, she tried to shove another frock in my face that she thought would be perfect for my shape (Pear women of the universe unite). The only problem was, it was one size too small and it started cutting off the circulation in my jiggly arms.
And so, after trying on four dresses that pinched me around the triceps, clung to my hips and felt snug around my middle – where incidentally, I’ve actually never had a problem, I made a monumental decision. I will no longer shop at upscale boutiques featuring European fashions where sales girls shoot me telepathic messages to lay off the chardonnay and eat a few more carrot sticks. Instead, I’m going back to old faithful – Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft – where I’m always a size six and the saleswomen tell me I look fabulous even if I’ve grown a little mushy around the middle. Let’s face it, flattery will get you my credit card. And brutal honesty, will send me racing for the door.
Some Great Weight Related Links of the Week
Why I am Now Cancelling my Gym Membership
Time Magazine – Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin (thanks to Jennie at Baby Name Wizard for sending this one over to me via Twitter!)
Weight Loss Guru Janice Taylor’s Weight Loss Offerings
From losing weight with watermelon juice, to Seven Ways to Go from Stress to Refreshed, if you haven’t visited the Our Lady of Weight Loss site and signed up for her Kick in the Tush newsletter, then you don’t know what you’re missing!
Motivation du Jour from The Mojo Coach
Check out Debi Silber’s latest Beware of Limiting Labels Feature in our Community Pages.

13 Ways to Transform Your Life

by Our Lady Of Weight Loss author Janice Taylor, Life & Wellness Coach and Featured Contributor for Beliefnet and the Huffington Post

janice before-after.jpgDo you like the way your life is unfolding? Would you like to change some of it? Change direction? Reinvent yourself? Lose Weight?
You can, you know. Reinvent yourself! I know because I did!
Here are 13 steps to a new and improved (not that you need any improvement), reinvented you!
Learn how you can transform your life.
1. Leap of Faith: Ready, Fire, Aim!
It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself. — Muhammad Ali
We all have dreams — things that we want so intensely that we can taste them. Dreams that we can see in our mind’s eye and feel in our hearts. As excited and as enthusiastic as we may be, it is sometimes hard to take the first steps that can turn our dreams into our realities.
Often doubt comes rolling in and knocks the wind out of our sails. Our energy start to fade. The negative self-talk begins: “What if I fail?” “Who am I kidding?” “This will never work.” “I can’t do it.” Your first step is to realize that this is a natural phenomenon. We all have negative thoughts. Smile at these thoughts, and then get on your mark, get set, and Ready, Fire, Aim! Yup, you heard me right. Fire first; aim later.
2. Breathe and Energize
Breathe in experience, breathe out poetry. — Muriel Rukeyser
Take in a deep cleansing breath! You just jumped through the portal into life. Congratulations, and whew!
Breathing is an important part of the life-transformation plan, and it’s something that we often overlook, because we think we already are breathing. Well, of course we are, but usually not in a deep and meaningful way. Breathing releases endorphins that helps make us feel happy, enhances our appearance, and makes us feel instantly stronger and more confident. Breathing also revitalizes and energizes every cell in our body, as well as brings us back to center. So take a deep one!
3. Be Yourself
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde
That line from Oscar Wilde has got to be the one of the best ever uttered. Truly, wishing to look like, act like, or be someone else is an enormous waste of time and energy. You are fabulous and, happily, no one can be you, it’s already taken! Discover and explore each and every part of your being, your psyche, your soul. Embrace yourself fully — who you are, and who you will become as you transform your life.
4. Expect the Best
Transform Your Life gallery “Happy is the man who can make a living by his hobby.” — George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion
It is called the Pygmalion effect and it’s a fact: If you expect the worst, you get it. Thoughts are not just insubstantial bits of information that enter our minds and fade away into the ether; thoughts are concrete things. Our words, ideas, and beliefs shape our daily lives. So get out of victim mode. You are worthy. Your dreams are within your reach. Imagine positive situations with happy outcomes.
Instead of asking yourself, “Well, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” Ask yourself, “What’s the best thing that can happen?” Expect the best!
5. Reframe Failure as the “F” Word
“There are no failures — just experiences and your reactions to them.” — Thomas Krause
Do you remember when you were a kid and you were playing a game and made a fumble, and yelled, “Do-over — do-over — do-over?” Well, grown-ups can yell “do over” too.
We’ve been conditioned to think of failing as a big, fat, shame-filled “F,” bringing forth punishment (like summer school). Truly though, failure is just a word that sets off a reaction in us. Let’s take failure, change our reaction to this “F” word, and reframe it.
Okay, so things didn’t turn out the way you wanted, or go the way you planned. Take a look at the situation without judgment. Ask yourself, “What really happened here? How can I experience this as feedback? What can I do differently next time?” No judgment, just learning. No failures, just feedback.
6. Use Your “Want Power”
There is no such thing as will power; only want power. — Our Lady of Weight Loss
It’s not about your “will,” it’s about your “want.” “Using your “want power” means that you want something enough to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle to get it, and to make sure that you have all the tools and support that you need to make those changes. It’s the preparation that guarantees success. Want power means that you are willing to do what it takes to get what you want. Get on your walking shoes, because you are about to go that extra mile!
7. Show Up!
Eighty percent of success is showing up. — Woody Allen
Each and every morning I show up. Simple as that. I start the day by asking myself a very simple yet powerful question. “How will I show up today?” And then I take out my “show up” journal and write.
There’s no yes or no in it; there’s no right or wrong in it. And on a subconscious level, using the words “will I” in the question implies that you will yourself to and you will show up today. Writing down the question each day taps into your subconscious mind, which then sends the answers straight through your fingers, through the pen, and onto the page. Do not think; just be present with the pen and write. “Showing up” may look different from day to day and that’s okay, because each day is different and brings forth different resources that live within.
8. Motivate
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily. — Zig Ziglar
Isn’t that the truth! Showing up and getting motivated go hand-in-hand.. Having shown up, I remind myself each day of what my goals are and what I need to do to move successfully throughout the day, toward my goals. At first, it may seem that staying motivated takes conscious effort, and it does! But once you are in the habit of showing up and motivating yourself, it will become as automatic as brushing your teeth.
9. Give Yourself Permission
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same” — Nelson Mandela
Reinvention and transformation come with new challenges. By stretching your envelope, your limits, and your thoughts, you are able to achieve more than you ever imagined. Give yourself permission to dream big, to do more, to believe in yourself. In other words, give yourself permission to be you. Take the time to show up and take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to do, be, act however you need to so that you can give yourself whatever it is that you truly want from your life.
10. Practice ForgiveMess
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewish B. Smedes
No, that’s not a typo. You really are creating quite a mess for yourself when you carry around years and platters — full of anger, upset, and resentment towards others and yourself. And while you may well be justified in your anger, because what so-and-so said and/or did was truly horrific, think about it. Who are you hurting? Yourself.
Frustration and aggravation can weigh you down both metaphorically and literally. Free yourself from guilt, anger, and hurt. Let the bitters go! Create space for success, abundance, prosperity, love, happiness, and enthusiasm. Repeat after me, “All is Forgiven, Move On!”
11. Choose What You’ll Tolerate
“A leaky faucet, a barking dog — those are things you tolerate.” — Candace Gingrich
What are you putting up with, what are you stomaching? What’s getting in your way? What are you tolerating? It could be as simple as the dust behind the refrigerator, or could be a more complicated matter like a certain person in your life, or it could be one of those really tough things — bad hair days!
Any time you sincerely want to change your life, one of the first things you must do is change what you demand for yourself and raise your standards. Imagine all your “tolerations” as stones, twigs, and rocks — maybe even fallen trees — which you have essentially placed onto your path and have to maneuver around every day.
These stumbling blocks slow us down and sap our energy. As you clear your path, you will travel faster and more smoothly It will become increasingly easier to recognize and to say no to anything that could slow you down. Clear your path, and you will create space for your best self.
12. Toss Reality Out the Window
“I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.” — Adam Savage
Yes, I am advising you to set unreasonable goals if you want to transform your life. As “they” say, it’s the journey that matters, not whether you reach the exact destination you thought you were heading towards. After all, the act of pursuing a goal activates the release of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine affects our capacity to feel pleasure and pain. Once the goal has been reached, the pleasure stops. So, it makes sense then to set a totally unreasonable goal, outside your comfort zone, and create small goals on the way to it. As you work toward your big “G,” you will accomplish many little g’s. It’s a win/win!
13. Fear: What is it Good For? Absolutely Nothing!
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. — Dorothy Thompson
“They” say that you have to be fearless. I say, “Be real. Who’s not afraid?” The thing about fear is that you simply do not want to let it paralyze you, stop you from moving forward, or get in your way.
How can you do that? What if you make friends with fear and invite it in? “Hello fear! Come on in.” When you do this, you will soon realize that you have survived your fear. You can let it go now. Knock fear out of the ballpark, circle the bases, and head on home. You are the champion of your newly transformed life!
I reinvented myself 7 years ago. I went from an overweight, unhealthy, job-holder leading a life of compromise to a slim, healthy, self-employed, fulfilled life & wellness coach and author. Instead of holding a job, I now do my life’s work.
If I can, you can!

Check Out Hilarious New Weight Loss Book

One of my favorite weight loss experts, Janice Taylor just released her new book, All is Forgiven Move On. If you’re looking to laugh your way to weight loss then this is the book for you! Janice calls herself a weight loss artist and she devises ingenious ways for you to shed weight even by throwing yourself into activities that you’ll enjoy (and she doesn’t mean hitting the gym). So take a look at the video and then visit Janice’s website at Our Lady of Weight Loss and order the book today!