Go F**k Yourself Friday…the Holiday Edition

It’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but in the past week, I’ve seen stories about how people have the most heart attacks during the holidays while others are totally dreading having to spend time with relatives who don’t share their political views.  For those of you who are completely stressed out this time of year, this one’s for you…

The Holiday Music Militia: Go F**k Yourself to all the people insisting that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” be banned from the radio. I really don’t mind that song at all and am not offended by it, but after day 35 of non-stop holiday music, I’d like to ban radio stations from playing holiday music 24/7 just to torture everyone this time of year. By Christmas Eve, I’d like to get plenty more songs out of my head right now, starting with “Santa Baby.”

via GIPHY

The Holiday Letter Writer: I know it’s taken you at least three weeks to craft your “year in review” letter that you’ve decided to share with people who haven’t actually seen you this past year, but a serious Go F**k Yourself goes out to the people who recap the wonderful year they had by sharing all the amazing things that happened to them in 2018. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so annoyed about your letter if I had actually experienced one of those incredible moments with you. News flash: Time to prune your mailing list so you don’t send your stupid letter to people who you haven’t actually spent any time with in years.

via GIPHY

My Fat Cells: Yes, I know that fat cells are not a person but since they have been my nemesis my entire life, I’m going to give a big old Go F**k Yourself to my fat cells that I know will be expanding this holiday season and will probably set me back again as I start the new year. I’ve been working hard to shrink all of you but I’m also a sucker for baklava, butter cookies and anything else that’s sweet and a billion Weight Watcher points. I know I’m going to hate the fact that I can’t fit into my skinny jeans come January 2nd so I’m just cursing you out in advance.

via GIPHY

Restaurants that are closed on Christmas Day: I totally get that you need to close down or else we’d be serving ourselves this time of year, but still, Go F**k Yourself to restaurants that leave people like me with little options other than Chinese food and movie theater popcorn.

via GIPHY

People Who Wait to the Last Minute to Buy Gifts: Truth be told – I deserve a big old Go F**k Yourself for this one too since I always wait until Christmas Eve to buy gifts. I know I totally could have bought stuff in October or when I bought a new coat last week that was on sale at Lord & Taylor, but no. I’d rather trek out in the pouring rain, circle the parking lot five times to find a spot and then walk a half mile without an umbrella to Barnes & Noble just so I can buy a book I totally could have ordered on Amazon if I actually thought about it a few days ago.

via GIPHY

In all seriousness, I hope all of you have an absolutely wonderful Christmas and New Year. Enjoy the craziness, the gifts, the food, your family and friends and most of all, enjoy the fact that there will be plenty more Go F**k Yourself columns in 2019 to keep you entertained.

How To Celebrate The Holidays As A Singleton (Or With Your Ex)

Written by Michelle Johnson.
ornaments.jpg The holidays can be the most stressful time of the year, and unfortunately a time that no one will admit to being this way because they’re also supposed to be the best time of the year for most. Not many people will admit they’re struggling at this time of year but if you are spending your first Christmas holidays as a singleton it can be hard to know how to work things out.
Do you spend the time alone? With your family? Are you spending it with your kids or maybe you’ve been thinking of inviting over the ex? Every family situation is different, and we’re hoping to be able to work out some of the hardest stuff for you!
If you’re spending it alone
If this is your fist time spending Christmas time alone then getting some family
support by spending it with family is probably the best remedy. But even sitting
around the table can be difficult during the holidays, if you’re surrounded by your
relatives and their children all having a great time it can be hard to handle. Immerse
yourself in family games or help with the cooking to take your mid of things, failing
that, perhaps spending time doing something good like helping out at a charity
during the holidays might help to make you feel better.
If you’re spending it alone with your kids
This is the perfect opportunity to really take time out with just you and the kids. Get
them to help with the cooking or present wrapping, take a walk after dinner and
watch some trashy TV that you normally wouldn’t entertain the thought of, this is
the perfect time to relax and enjoy each other’s company without any restraints.
If you’re inviting over the ex
Perhaps your relationship with your ex isn’t terrible and you think that the kids would
appreciate spending time with both parents then having your ex over for Christmas
lunch might be the solution. Perhaps to ensure old feelings aren’t dredged up you
could eat out together, but if this isn’t an option then plans certainly need to be put
in place to make sure the day runs smoothly.
If you’re having the whole messy package
If you’re seeing someone, or perhaps you’ve started to live in cohabitation with that
person then Christmas may be looking rosy to you. But what if as well as your new
partner there are the kids, and your ex to contend with at Christmas? Some people
have great relationships with their ex and so this might not sound so strange, but
even if you do have a good relationship it’s always a good idea to talk through the
holiday plans with your ex, so they know what time to arrive, what to bring and
how to act with your new partner. Nothing should be left to chance in this situation,
because Christmas is not a time for arguments.
Whatever your situation when it comes to the Christmas holidays plans are always
good. Whether you are celebrating solo, with kids or with your new partner, family
issues need to be resolved and planned properly to avoid messiness at the dinner
table. Lets make this Christmas as stress-less as possible and make sure everyone is
happy this holiday season!
Michelle Johnson is a freelance writer. She loves to help couples and families with their relationship problems and helps them to openly communicate with each other. For this article she received expert advice from OnePlusOne, a charity that helps families and couples to tackle relationship issues on a daily basis.

Citi’s Free Family Weekend in Union Square

Thumbnail image for met.jpgThe holidays in NYC just got a little bit more exciting for Mets fans. In celebration of the launch of its new flagship branch in Union Square, Citi will host a free, fun-filled family weekend at the branch with the Mets on December 18th and 19th. Mets Player Ike Davis will meet with families and sign autographs on Saturday, December 18th, while Mets Legends Ron Darling and John Franco will do the same on Sunday, December 19th. Family weekend also will feature “living” holiday windows that will recreate iconic NYC holiday scenes, holiday puppet Shows, a complimentary gift wrapping station, an appearance by Mr. Met, free shuttle buses to Citi Pond ice skating rink at Bryant Park, treats from Momofuku Bakery and Milk Bar and holiday giveaways!
The event will take place at the new Citi branch, located at the corner of 14 St. and Broadway. Please see a full calendar of events below…
Saturday, December 18, 2010
· 10:00 am/11:00 am/12:00 pm/1:00 pm/2:00 pm/3:00 pm – Shuttle bus leaves Union Square for Bryant Park
· 9:00 am to 5:00 pm – Gift wrapping stations open
· 11:00 am to 2:30 pm – Ice skaters perform in Broadway windows
· 11:00 am to 3:00 pm – Catering serves refreshments
· 1:00 pm to 2:30 pm – Ike Davis and Mr. Met appearance
· 1:30 pm to 5:00 pm – Puppet show
Sunday, December 19, 2010
· 11:00 am/12:00 pm/1:00 pm/2:00 pm/3:00 pm/4:00 pm – Shuttle bus leaves Union Square for Bryant Park
· 11:00 am to 4:00 pm – Gift wrapping stations open
· 11:00 am to 2:30 pm – Ice skaters perform in Broadway windows
· 11:00 am to 3:00 pm – Catering serves refreshments
· 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm – John Franco and Mr. Met appearance
· 2:00 pm to 3:30 pm – Ron Darling appearance

One Smart Cookie

Thumbnail image for DSC06771-2.JPGI love Martha Stewart but have to remind myself to steer clear of her show and magazine from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. Her ideas are all so great but last week she made trees from old magazines, and lovely as they were, I will never have that kind of time in my life. Now that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun during the holidays–the goals just need to be realistic and attainable. That’s why I love this basic butter cookie from an old issue of Gourmet. The directions say to simply slice and bake them, but I figure if I can multi-task then my cookie needs to do the same.
Here are some other fun things you can do with it:
– Roll them out and use a biscuit cutter to cut circles, then bake and fill the cooled cookies with jam and dip or drizzle with melted chocolate
– Roll into balls and press into colored sugar or sprinkles
– Make jam-filled thumbprint cookies
– Help end childhood hunger. These cookies are in the virtual cookie jar for the 12 Days of Sharing. For more information on how to make a donation and to see the list of great giveaways visit me at In Jennie’s Kitchen.
Basic Butter Cookies – Gourmet 2003
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Directions

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl.
Beat together butter and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes in a standing mixer (preferably fitted with paddle attachment) or 6 with a handheld. Beat in egg and vanilla. Reduce speed to low, then add flour mixture and mix until just combined.
Form dough into a 12-inch log (2 inches in diameter) on a sheet of plastic wrap and roll up dough in plastic wrap. Chill dough on a baking sheet until firm, at least 4 hours.
Put oven racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat oven to 375°F.
Cut enough 1/8- to 1/4-inch-thick slices from log with a heavy knife to fill 2 ungreased large baking sheets, arranging slices about 1 inch apart (chill remainder of log, wrapped in plastic wrap). If garnishing with coarse sugar, sprinkle slices with it.
Bake cookies, switching position of sheets halfway through baking, until edges are golden, 12 to 15 minutes total. Cool on sheets 3 minutes, then transfer with a metal spatula to racks to cool completely. Make more cookies with remaining dough on cooled baking sheets.
Click here to view some more pictures.
Happy baking!