I have been avoiding my scale like the plague the last few months. Even though I’ve been exercising about five times a week, I decided that I didn’t have to hop on the scale and get depressed. I would know whether I was putting on weight if my jeans were tight rather than staring at a number that put me in a foul mood.

Well, I hate to admit it, but I was dead wrong. It seems like every year I decide to do some wacky diet where I lose some weight and then inevitably fall off the wagon, gain it back and then add a few more pounds to make things that much more painful. Add in the fact that I’m approaching menopause and you’ve got a weight tsunami on your hands.

This week, I knew I was going to have to hop on a scale because I had an annual exam scheduled at my OB/GYN’s office so I decided to rip the Band Aid off and weigh myself at home. I’m so sad to admit this, but I am heavier than I have ever been in my life. I won’t count the day they weighed me when I was in labor with my son because that number is seared in my brain but I think I will lock myself in my walk in closet and never come out if I hit that weight again. The fact is, while I’m not at the highest number I have ever weighed, I don’t have an eight pound newborn growing inside of me along with a few gallons of amniotic fluid so I guess I have no excuses whatsoever about how I got here.

While I can always blame the entire year on the presidential election, at this point, that’s the same excuse as blaming it on trying to lose the baby weight. After a certain point, the only person you have to blame is yourself.

I CONFESS!

I am guilty of eating bread from the bread basket at restaurants.

I am guilty of drinking 2-3 glasses of wine every weekend.

I am guilty of grabbing a few post Halloween treats from my pantry (mini Snickers and Twizzlers to be exact).

I am guilty of inhaling a KIND bar on my evening commute.

I am guilty of eating a much larger portion size at dinner.

I am guilty of eating way too much pasta.

I am guilty of eating french fries and sweet potato fries.

I am guilty of eating potato chips.

I am guilty of eating Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.

I could probably go on for days with all my food confessions but I don’t have time for that anymore. Instead, I have decided to cook myself thin and I’m taking my husband with me.

After reading about a woman who lost over 100 pounds by cooking food in her Instant Pot, I have become a woman on a mission. This past week, I have cooked four meals in a row in my electric pressure cooker and I’m even going to whip something up tonight — Friday night — before my husband and I go out to a movie and sneak in some low calorie popcorn. So far, my hubby has lost 4.5 pounds on our Instant Pot plan. I’m down a pound so if I keep this going for 52 weeks, I could be down at least 50 pounds by then. Okay – I don’t have that much to lose but I definitely want to drop at least 25 for now and then we’ll see where it goes after I hit my first goal.

I know that on Role Mommy I make a lot of promises and share a lot of my hopes and dreams with you. I’ve also shared a ton of my weight loss struggles. You’ve seen me lose and gain over the last decade a lot and this time around, I’m tired of the shakes, the bars, the plan, the Keto, the Whole 30, the prepared meals, even Weight Watchers. I’m all in on the cook myself thin with my Instant Pot plan and will keep you posted on how I do. I don’t really want to post a before pic just yet since I’m letting that horrifying number on the scale still sink in but I promise to share an after every time I drop 10 pounds.

For now, my OB/GYN told me to download an app called Fat Secret (in the app store it’s called Calorie Counter by Fat Secret). In a nutshell, it’s a food diary where you record everything you eat in one day.  Once you share how much weight you’d like to lose, it calculates how many calories, macros and nutrients you should have in one day. You can even eat out and select options from the app, they offer recipes and you can even take a snapshot of your food and it will record it into the system.

So there you have it. No more gimmicks. No more get thin quick schemes. No more paying people to weigh me. I’m losing weight on my own terms and this time, I really mean it. I’ll check in next week and let you know how I’m doing.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.