Day: July 5, 2011

Dear Single Mom Walking:
My boyfriend and his kid spent part of the weekend with me and my daughter. I fed them and pretty much cleaned up after them and when they left I didn’t even get a “thank you.” Should I say something?
Signed,
Over and Done
Dear Over and Done:
Been there and then tossed them, well, mostly just him. As a fellow single parent, I know how hard it is to be doing it all by yourself. I have been single since my daughter was fifteen months old and I can’t tell you the number of times I would wake up and silently ask her, “what is it you can do for yourself today that I no longer have to?”
People were always amazed how early in life she was able to buckle herself into her car seat, dress herself, make a delicious steak au poivre. I was proud of her and so so thankful. Doing it ALL is not easy and I took help any place I could get it.
Saying “thank you” and “please” seems to have gone the way of the beeper and the Farrah Fawcett hairdo with the same likelihood of returning, sadly. Whether or not you should say anything depends on a few other factors.
Did they thank you when you fed them? Did they ever assist in cleaning up after themselves? Did they at least offer? Did they ever put the word “please” in a sentence and I don’t mean as in, “Oh please, are you kidding me?” or “girlfriend, puh lease!”
There are also other things in play here that need to be taken into consideration, like how hot is he and what is the likelihood if you dump him, you’ll get laid again before the next eclipse?
To some people these are things that shouldn’t matter. To those people I ask:
1). What is the longest amount of time you’ve ever gone without getting any? and
2) How many coffee dates have you gone on where you wanted nothing more than to leave before you even ordered?
Exactly.
It’s a tough dating world out there. I live in Los Angeles, a city where women start having their mid life crisis at fifteen.
I, myself, am in my mid forties. I have an eight year old kid and parts of me have seen better days. I admit, when it comes to romance I tolerate way more than I should. Does that make me desperate? No, yes, no and yes. Life is not that simple. I know people who love their alone time, I do too, but there is “alone time” by choice and then there is “alone time” better whip out the jigsaw puzzle sister cause no one is comin a callin!
I have experienced way too much of the latter and if you don’t believe me, I have about ten 1000 “piecers” just sitting in my closet done and waiting to either be redone or donated, the last of which is a picture of the inside of a candy store. Yes, I said mid forties, why do you ask?
Jessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at bernthis.com, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at rolemommy.com and has worked her vlogging magic with aiminglow.com, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.