Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
The other day an old boyfriend contacted me on Facebook. I live in San Francisco, he lives in Portland, Maine. He told me he wants to reconnect. I used to be crazy about him but I’m not sure if I want to start things up again.
Here and There
Dear Here and There:
That you would even consider hooking up again with this guy is amazing to me. I say that because my number one rule for dating a man is he must live within ten miles of where I live and that’s only if he’s really hot. If he’s not hot but he’s funny, the radius is five miles. If he’s not funny or hot but it’s been a while since I last got laid, four miles. However, if he’s not hot, not funny and I haven’t gotten laid since three eclipses ago…mileage? What’s mileage?
Back in the late 80’s I briefly dated this really good looking guy, which at the time meant that I did everything and anything I could to make him happy while he did everything and anything to make himself happy too.
Last year, this same guy also contacted me via Facebook. At first, I thought it was the Universe’s way of telling me that I was finally in a place where I was mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship. It didn’t occur to me how ridiculous this notion was as my reasoning was based primarily on the fact that he was still a very good looking guy and yet was still interested in the possibility of dating me.
Aside from that, he was also divorced with twin girls the same age as my daughter (7) and he lived in
Sydney, Australia ?!!!!
I was so excited that by the time I read that little detail, I think I was hyperventilating and then just blacked out from the enormous let down.
Eventually, I came to after my mother called me from New York to tell me she’d heard there was an earthquake in Los Angeles and wanted to know if I was okay. When I told her it was just my heart hitting the floor she immediately felt relieved I was alive because as it turns out, she was bored out of her mind and I was the only one she knew that was still awake.
During my Facebook chat with this guy, he pleaded with me to come to see him. He wrote “Hey, next time you’re in Sydney, look me up!” which, of course was very sweet although I admit I don’t respond well to begging and this time was no different.
I told him I couldn’t see us getting as serious as I’m pretty sure my ex wouldn’t be happy if I told him I’m running late, about two weeks, to pick up our kid from school because my flight got delayed. Never mind, I’m so lazy, I know that if I were to ever get involved in something cross country or as I mentioned, even cross county, there’d come a time I’d call my ex and tell him “she’s all yours” because I could no longer bare another 16 hour flight or even a 30 minute car ride for that matter.
I will say, that if I’ve learned nothing else from my divorce it’s that relationships are hard enough and absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder, although the sex is always unbelievable.
Good luck!
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.