Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months. The other day he asked me to babysit for his three year old twins because his regular sitter cancelled at the last second. I’m unemployed at the moment and I think he should have paid me because he was planning on paying someone anyway. He says his love for me is payment.
What say you?
At a Total Loss
Dear At a Total Loss:
I tried that whole “you were going to have to pay somebody anyway” reasoning on my ex husband and got absolutely nowhere but that is because all I did was birth his child, pay for the entire divorce, (his part and mine) and give him several thousand dollars as a “going away” present so who am I to ask?
You’ve got an interesting point here. After all, you are jobless and yes, he was going to pay someone anyway but then again, he does love you. Unfortunately, love doesn’t pay your cell phone bill and I’m pretty sure the local gas company could give a crap what he thinks about you. You could try it his way and see if by getting him to admit he is absolutely crazy, wild, unbelievably head over heels for you, your cable company will also toss in HBO and Showtime. I mean after all, it’s not like everyday they walk into work and hear such proclamations of love and judging from the customer service, I’m going to guess they never hear at home either.
I must also tip my hat to you for being willing to baby-sit three year old twins. I’m guessing you’ve never had kids of your own or you’ve never spent time in the company of twins or three year olds or any one under the age of five, for more than a couple of seconds. Otherwise, I’m going to have to guess that you are really hurting for cash, or you actually have a true affinity for spending your days shouting things like, “hey, no hitting!”, “who needs to go pee pee?!” or if the kid is being raised in Los Angeles, “yes, mine are real.”
I’m going to also guess that you are so tired of being hounded by creditors that you believe working with people who are completely unwilling to compromise, will never give you a straight answer and constantly cry over spilt milk, literally, is worth the money.
That being said, the going rate for babysitters in Los Angeles is on par if not better than what most temporary employees earn, especially if they work in the entertainment industry.
Seems wrong to me since there are many people in positions of power in Hollywood who are much more difficult to work with than a pre schooler. If you don’t believe me, then answer me this, when was the last time a four year old threw his size 12 penny loafer in the direction of your forehead while screaming, “Get the f**k out of my office!”?
I rest my case.
Lastly, you could always tell your boyfriend “no.” Last I checked, that was a viable answer, one I wished I’d optioned to use right after the guy asked me, “do you take this man….”
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.