Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
My boyfriend was supposed to meet me at my place for a romantic evening but instead he insisted he had to stand on line at the apple store to get his Ipad. I was insulted he said I had no reason to be?
Signed,
Me, You and an Ipad Too?
Dear Me, You and an Ipad Too,
Your boyfriend gave up sex so that he could go and pick up an Ipad 2 instead?
Well, from someone who has said many times she wants to be buried in the back seat of her Prius with one arm around her MAC laptop and the other on her treadmill, I have to say I kind of understand.
I’m not saying I’m always this compassionate and I’m not even saying it’s right but there are times when materials goods can provide one the same if not more satisfaction than anything with two legs, two arms and the ability to do more then making unintelligible noises.
I mean I’ve had boyfriends where if you asked me to pick between an evening with them or a free copy of Final Cut Pro well, free is free…..
Another example is I’ve got a guy friend of mine that has made it clear that should I ever find him in bed, dead, hugging his five iron, I should know he died happy. This is contrast to the fact that he has never once mentioned anything about dying happy while holding his wife’s hand or having his way with Giselle Bundchen and to me that says something; 1. That this guy’s five iron must be nothing short of amazing 2. Giselle Bundchen is totally overexposed and needs to tell her PR to take it down a notch and 3. “things” can provide a certain level of joy unmatched by even those closest to us.
What I think your boyfriend is guilty of more than anything is poor planning. Perhaps he could have called you earlier to say he was going to be at the store and would be running late or perhaps you could have met him at the checkout counter all decked out and he could’ve started to feel you up while sliding his debit card through that thing every store uses but for which I have no name.
Yes, I’ll agree, probably not the best idea and based on past experience, I’d probably end up paying for the Ipad and not getting “any” either.
Bottom line is you and he just need to communicate better. If need be, next time tell him, I want to have sex with you tonight. Do not Pass “go”, do not stop collect anything at the Apple Store, come right home because if you don’t, the next time you get in the mood, don’t be surprised if you turn around to kiss and find out I’m stopped on the way home to get myself a pedicure.
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at bernthis.com, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at rolemommy.com and has worked her vlogging magic with aiminglow.com, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.