Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking…
I met a man on a blind date. He was cute, charming, funny, and has a soft spot for animals (he has two cats). Then we got in the car and he turned on techno music. Is it wrong that something so simply is such a turnoff? I feel like I’m being too picky.
Meow or Meh?
Dear Meow or Meh:
I’ll get to the techno music in a moment but first, can we talk about the two cat thingy please? As a gesture of good will towards all the men who post a profile on line and the women who have to endure the agony of reading them, I once posted a list of the “do’s” and “do not’s” with regard to what men should consider before posting and if I recall correctly #3 was:
“Do not put up a picture of yourself holding a cat. It’s good to know that you like animals but a majority of women have stated that as soon as they see a guy holding a calico, the first word that comes to mind is “pussy” as in “this guy is clearly a pussy” which quickly leads to the rolling of the eyes and the hitting of the delete button.”
Now I like cats as much as the next person. Okay, that is a lie, unless, of course, that “next” person does not like cats at all, then I am being as truthful as I can be. Nonetheless, when it comes to men and their Tabby’s, I often feel like my penis is bigger than theirs, which clearly doesn’t say much for the guy since I don’t have one….unless you count the strap on but that’s a whole other column right there.
As far as the techno, I don’t have a feeling about music either way. You see, for me, unless I get into the guy’s car and he turns on a CD of Gregorian Chants, which did in fact happen to me, I’m good to go.
You see, my taste in music is rooted in the 1970’s and 80’s and when I say rooted, I mean, never left, so I’m not one to talk when it comes to this particular topic. I know I’ve been judged for my song choices in the past to the point where now when I pull up to a red light, I do so with all my windows rolled up, lest I be judged as a freak, a loser, or in other words, for just being me.
My point overall is, every guy is going to have things that you like and dislike about him. The question is what can you tolerate? If having to listen to techno music, makes you inclined to wrap your hand around a giant steak and running in his direction as fast as you can, perhaps this isn’t the guy for you. Then again, if his choice of animal doesn’t give you the urge to check under which gender he is listed on his birth certificate, then maybe you have a match there.
Only you will know. Just follow your gut or in your case the smell of the cat litter.
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.