The Girdle Chronicles: Summer Sob Story

Weight-Gain-Pills.jpegIt happened again. It’s nearly June and the 15 pounds I’ve been trying to lose since my son was born (he is now nine), is still attached to my thighs, hips and posterior and now I’m headed into the most self conscious time of the year…summer.
Summer, the season for short shorts, mini skirts and dare I say, bikinis. Summer when women with really nice legs get to flaunt them and women with really bad legs search high and low for a great sarong that will cover them from head to toe.
Summer is the time for barbecues, great fruit, and fruity drinks with incredibly high caloric content that do nothing to help you as you attempt to lose weight. So here I am, thisclose to June 1st vowing yet again that I will be happy with the way I look this season. Despite the fact that I’m not fitting into the size I’d like to be, I am determined to do some form of exercise every day. In fact, I recently invested in a hers and hers bike. What’s that, you ask? Simple. When you go to a bike store with your daughter to get yourself a bike and she likes it so much that she begs you to get her one too, you acquiesce and voila, you now both have the exact same bicycles.
Tonight, we actually took our very first family bike ride of the season, complete with visiting friends in the neighborhood – I even turned down a piece of pie with whipped cream – what’s the point of riding a book and burning some calories only to slap them back on your body by inhaling a slice of raspberry pie. Instead, we left our friends’ house and rode some more until the sun set. We then headed home and I inhaled a few scoops of Edy’s low fat Fudge Tracks while watching summer re-runs.
Here’s hoping that by Independence Day, my newfound desire to get in shape will not just be a passing phase. I remember one July 4th getting so depressed after seeing the size of my butt in a store window. Well I say, this year that’s not going to happen. I’m going to eat right, exercise, drink a lot of water, ride my bike and maybe even jog. Maybe I’ll even try yoga and pilates. So check back with me in a month – I’ll share my progress and hopefully by then I’ll be a few pounds lighter. Either that, or I’ll be the one avoiding store windows.

Scotty McCreery Wins American Idol at the Young Age of 17

MB1_9518.jpgWith over 170 million votes – viewers crowned Scotty McCreery, 17, the youngest American Idol winner to date.
McCreery from Garner, N.C., beat fellow country singer Lauren Alaina, 16, from Rossville, Ga.. Upon hearing that he was the new American Idol, McCreery was a class act and paid tribute to Lauren stating, “me and her have been together since day one and we’re going to stick together”.
McCreery hugged his friends and family as he sang “I Love You This Big,” to a cheering crowd. It was a heartwarming moment with tears coming from the crowd and McCreery himself.
The Season Finale featured performances from Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Tom Jones, Marc Anthony and former “Idol” winner Carrie Underwood.
There were concerns that American Idol’s 10th season would not draw in the audience as it has in previous years as the show received a shake-up this year, with new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler joining Randy Jackson.
It is safe to say that the show not only brought the audience in but exceeded the expectations!! For more great entertainment news, visit our entertainment contributors at HaveUHeard.

Must Read: Bossypants by Tina Fey

bossypants1.jpegI’ve always loved Tina Fey. She’s one of those real, approachable looking celebrities who is ridiculously smart, pretty and oh sooooo funny. I remember watching her religiously on SNL’s “Weekend Update” with Jimmy Fallon. As a comedic writer who rose to the top among of a sea of men, Fey has proven time and again that even really really nice girls can finish first.
I’m having so much fun reading Fey’s best selling memoir “Bossypants” – so much so that I have been finding myself laughing out loud amidst a sea of commuters. Today, as my train was pulling into the station, I let a huge guffaw when Fey talked about her experiences at a photo shoot and revealed the songs you would find on her iPod: “We’d Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover” from Annie and “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Why do I find that so laughable? Simple. If you were to play shuffle on my iPod, you would hear “Defying Gravity” from Rent and “Hold On” from Wilson Phillips. Incidentally, if you saw “Bridesmaids,” you will see that Wilson Phillips could be making a huge comeback this year – if only they were playing at Jones Beach!
But back to Bossypants. So why do I love this book so much? Simple – Tina Fey shares memories from her childhood, adolescence and adulthood with candor, wit and incredible humor. She knows how to paint a picture with her words that will get anyone cackling at a moment’s notice. Plus, she even shares photos of some of her worst hairstyles (I so can relate). I also love the story about her honeymoon – which took place on a cruise ship to Bermuda since her husband has a fear of flying.
There are so many great stories in “Bossypants,” that all I know is when I finally am done with the book, I think I’ll be pretty sad. For now, I’m still in the middle of the book and can’t wait to keep going. So what are you waiting for? Check out Bossypants today and order a copy or download to your Kindle or iPad!

Taste of Home Magazine and the USO Join Forces to Support Our Troops

TOHjj11_TOC1 (1).jpgTaste of Home, the #1 food and entertaining brand in the world, has partnered with the USO to provide a simple way for Americans to say thanks to our military and their families by donating 10¢ for each unique visitor to their new Flag Cake recipe on the magazine’s website.
This patriotic promotion kicks off on Memorial Day and continues through the 4th of July holiday, allowing anyone with an online connection a simple way to say thanks. Taste of Home is pledging up to $100,000 for our troops, with 10¢ for every person who views their Flag cake through the Independence Day holiday.
If visitors want to make even more of a difference, they can pass on the Flag Cake recipe to friends and family for their viewing or donate directly to the USO at
The Flag Cake recipe is perfect for sharing with friends and family as we honor members of the military. Just one recipe view provides a full two minute free phone call from a current service member overseas to home. Every $1 raised provides 20 minutes of talk time for service members. When you are able to hear the voice of a loved one for two minutes or twenty minutes, the value of those phone calls is impossible to measure.
Learn more about this promotion at

Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
I met a guy I really like but he is a really bad tipper no matter what the circumstances. I’m really torn as to whether or not to stick with him.
Ten Percent Is Not the New Twenty
Dear Ten Percent Is Not The New Twenty:
I dated a guy like that, briefly, the key word here being “briefly.” The reason: I found out all too quickly that a man who is tight with his money tends to also be very selfish in other areas of his life, mainly bed and this man, was no different.
In fact, being with him reminded my of my preschool days since more often than not during our average “romp” I’d hear him utter the words, “okay, now my turn” more times than is normal, normal meaning never.
During one particular evening, I was very tempted to yell out, “What are you, three?!” but held my tongue as he’d promised that after I was done screwing him, he’d take me out for an ice cream.
At first, my friends convinced me that the guy probably wasn’t even aware of the problem. They suggested that being a good tipper was something I could teach him, which is the only reason why our relationship lasted as long as it did….three weeks, eight hours, four visits to Baskin Robbins and two pieces of chocolate fudge cake which he insisted we share, something which should have been a huge red flag to me.
We were at a coffee house and no sooner had the waiter put the plate down, when my date took his fork and began to divide the cake into two pieces. By the time he was done, not only had he given himself three quarters of the slice but a part of that three quarters included the side with all the frosting on it.
I was in shock. Hadn’t I told him that my relationship with cake was the longest relationship I’d ever had? Did I not tell him that there would always be a part of me that would put cake before him, especially German Chocolate and Seven Layer?
And yet there he was diving into the frosting like it was no big deal. It was as if suddenly all the air had been sucked out of the room and the all that remained was me and this man who will forever now be known as the cake hoarding orgasm withholder or Mr. CHOW for short.
Since then I have been very wary of any man who isn’t generous, period. Be it with money, sex, frosting, it doesn’t matter and quite frankly I’d say you should be too.
Good luck and don’t forget to bring you extra cash and your credit card. Chances are you’ll need it.
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.

Alma’s Easy Lasagna Recipe

It is finally getting to the point where putting on your oven might make your house too hot. But what about making lasagna? No worries! You can make this easy skillet lasagna on your stove top that will require no baking. It is delicious!!!
P1070055.jpgServes 4 to 6
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes or 3 1/2 cups pasta sauce from a jar (a healthy brand!)
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 medium cloves garlic , minced or pressed through a garlic press (about 1 tablespoon)
1 pound ground turkey
10 curly-edged lasagna noodles, broken into 2-inch lengths
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese plus 2 additional tablespoons
1/2 cup grated mozzarella cheese
Ground black pepper
red pepper flakes to tate
2 cups ricotta cheese
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil (optional)
1. Pour tomatoes or pasta sauce with their juices into 1-quart liquid measuring cup. Add water until mixture measures 1 quart.
2. Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Stir in garlic and pepper flakes and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add ground meat and cook, breaking apart meat, until no longer pink, about 4 minutes.
3. Scatter pasta over meat but do not stir. Pour diced tomatoes with juices or pasta sauce over pasta noodles. Cover and bring to simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until pasta is tender, about 20 minutes.
4. Remove skillet from heat and stir in 1/2 cup Parmesan and mozzarella. Season with salt and pepper. Dot with heaping tablespoons ricotta, cover, and let stand off heat for 5 minutes. Sprinkle with basil and remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan.
alma072V4WEB-1 (1)-thumb-188x220-2703.jpgAlma Schneider, LCSW, is founder of Take Back the Kitchen. Like TBK, this blog is dedicated to helping people recognize and overcome the common and unique obstacles to being everything they hope to be in the kitchen. She writes for Womens Day on line magazine, she is a featured Kitchen Coach Expert on and healthy food sponsor for

63% Off Home Accents from Chick Lingo!

gaggle.jpg Gaggle of Chicks is a great website where moms “flock” for great deals! When you join gaggle (for free) you will receive daily e-mails on the latest deals! You must act quickly because each deal only lasts 48 hours!
Starting today they’re offering 63% off home accents from Chick Lingo. For only $15, you can enjoy $40 worth of personalized signs, picture frames, jewelry, gifts and more.“>Take a look…

John Rich Wins Celebrity Apprentice!

imgres-78.jpegIf you haven’t watched the “Celebrity Apprentice” this season, then I have to tell you, head on over to Hulu, catch up on all the episodes you’ve missed and then come back and read this post.
There is something about the Apprentice that gets me thinking. I love seeing how incredibly bright celebrities come together to build brand and marketing campaigns for some of the biggest products around. For the finale, Academy Award winner Marlee Matlin faced off against country music superstar John Rich.
During the task, Meatloaf devised a 70’s style commercial for 7Up, re-branded a retro can and managed to nab Jeremy Holder – the familiar voice from the 70’s who used to utter the phrase “Mah-velous, simply Mah-velous.” The commercial was unveiled at a seamless event that featured an amazing presentation by Marlee and a performance by the Harlem Globetrotters.
Fast forward to John Rich’s team, who devised a branding campaign for an 80’s 7Up can. The consensus was that John’s Zebra can popped better than Marlee’s retro disco ball can, but he still had to ace the event. And he did admit there were some hiccups. None of his team members met the 7Up team or Donald Trump upon their arrival and then, when John went to introduce the talent at the event, Def Leppard, he jumped the gun and called them to the stage 20 minutes earlier. Luckily, John saved the day when he jumped to the stage and began crooning until Def Leppard was ready to perform. While he had a few bumps at his event, John managed to do something amazing – raising an additional $275,000 for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Even though the task wasn’t a fundraiser, two donors stepped forward to support Rich’s efforts.
Donald Trump then polled the former contestants to see who they believed should win the Apprentice and in true fashion, Star Jones turned on her former ally, Marlee and cast her vote for John Rich. Even Latoya, who was on Marlee’s team, found herself voting for John. Thank goodness David Cassidy threw in a vote for Marlee, while Meatloaf stayed on the fence and Lil Jon went all out for John Rich.
Before the winner was announced, Marlee shared her experience bringing hearing aids to children in third world countries as part of the Starkey Hearing Foundation.
Next up, John Rich visited St. Jude’s children’s hospital and we heard him devote a song to the kids. It was so sad and inspiring at the same time. I have to say, there is nothing like a country music star who pours his heart into charity.
Marlee, John and the New York School for the Deaf then performed a brand new song, “For the Kids,” an original song written by John Rich for the Celebrity Apprentice that’s now available for download on iTunes.
In the second to last segment of the show, Marlee pled her case about how the Starkey Foundation is her life and John Rich countered that St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital saves lives. Plus, John shared how his body of work was far superior than Marlee’s. Even Ivanka admitted that they had never had a closer Celebrity Apprentice and that Marlee and John were exceptional competitors.
Finally, it was time for the moment of truth…
Donald Trump: “Over the years I’ve had some tough decisions – you both have been amazing. Marlee, you raised more money than any person in a single night – I want to congratulate you. Really, amazing job. John, from the beginning you have been amazing – you’re sharp, you’re a leader.”
Drum roll please….
The winner of Celebrity Apprentice 2011 is John Rich!!!