Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
My girlfriend is amazing except when it comes to her apartment She is a total slob and I honestly prefer that we spend time at my place because I just can’t stand being around such a huge mess. She says I’m compulsive, that I need to accept her as is and I say that it’s asking too much.
What say you?
Is Dirty the New Clean?
Dear Is Dirty the New Clean:
I had a boyfriend like that once. I’d go over to his place because I was in the mood to have sex only to walk in the door and suddenly want nothing more than to steam clean his carpets, and I mean, NOTHING more. Every time, he’d end up convincing me to go and fool around with him by promising that as soon as we were done, I could line his kitchen drawers or Easy Off his oven.
Sadly, when cleaning his house became more of a turn on than he did, I knew it was time for me to go. I’m guessing right now his place is probably a mess although if you were to go there and take out a piece of cutlery, you would see the liner underneath is nothing short of magnificent, which is to say, a lovely blue and white striped pattern with little speckles of red scattered all around the edges.
Reading this, some might speculate that a person like this is compulsive but I would have to disagree. Just because I like my guest towels to look “new” and thus prefer that they not be used by any of my guests, ever or by any one that lives, anywhere….in the world, does not make me compulsive…in my eyes, or those of my cat…if I had one. Yes, I do have a dog but he sits out in the yard all day snacking on kitty turds so what the hell would he know about cleanliness?
If you are someone who can’t function unless all your magazines are lined up horizontally on your coffee table and the inside of your freezer has its own frozen food “sections,” then perhaps you need to lighten up a bit although that doesn’t mean your girlfriend is right in telling you that you should be okay with her living like a slob.
It is important to accept others for who they are but when that includes feeling a need to wear flip flops inside their shower for health purposes, well, I think some changes do need to be made and from the sound of it, I would recommend you start with your girlfriend’s sheets. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
They say opposites attract, I personally do not agree, just ask my ex-husband. Okay, perhaps there are some that do, you know like, he likes to earn, she likes to spend, he prefers to sit on the couch all day, she gets her joy from waiting on him hand and foot, he likes his stomach being “poofy,” she prefers not running into it especially when she’s standing 5 feet away from him.
Generally, though, I’d say, you two are going to need to come to some kind of compromise or else this relationship will not stand the test of time or even three loads of laundry.
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.