Ask Single Mom Walking

Dear Single Mom Walking:
My boyfriend has a favorite sexual position that is not abnormal per se, but not typical. I don’t like it because it requires a bit of flexibility (I’m 38) and I have to do most of the work. I want to please him but every time we are in bed together lately, that’s the position he wants to be in. What do I do?
Ouch, I think I pulled something
Dear Ouch I Think I Pulled Something:
Well, let’s give your boyfriend some points for his imagination, no? There is nothing like changing things up and a riding crop to keep a relationship healthy….uh, so I’ve heard.
Over and over again, I hear my friends complain how boring their bedroom time is because it’s just the same old, same old. I once dated a guy who was very into spicing things up. It was great, until his motivation died out and then, so did we.
Sorry, but, I wouldn’t eat chicken for dinner every night so why the hell would I want to “do it” the same way time after time? Perhaps I could if we were cast in the show, “So you think you can have sex.” Then I get the point of wanting to repeat the same routine. Certainly, I wouldn’t want to slip up in front of a live audience and panel of professionals with credits such as “Dina Does All of Downtown” or “Bob & Mary Get Licked.” Never mind how much I’d hate to lose because just when I was supposed lick his perineum he has me on all fours. I’m so competitive I’d never be able to look at a dog again and not wonder what could have become of my life had my partner just spread his legs and let me do my thing.
Of course it’s important for you to be comfortable but that is a slippery slope. You know how when you first meet a guy, you take the time to actually shave AND put on deodorant and then as the days go by you think he’s lucky that you’re still wearing your “good” sweatpants? Well, that happens in the sack as well. One minute it’s all about what makes the other person feel good and the next thing you know, you’re pissed because he’s still banging away five minutes into the premiere of “CSI” and he’s unhappy because in his mind, he’s now dating a corpse.
Perhaps you and your boyfriend could compromise. Maybe you can find a position where neither of you wakes up the next morning wondering if one of your limbs is still attached to your body as well as the need to rekindle your relationship with your physical therapist.
Another idea would be for you both to sign up for a yoga class or from your description perhaps, one that includes techniques practiced by every member of Cirque De Soliel. This way you are both happy and unhurt and who knows maybe you’ll learn about new positions that neither of you thought were humanly possible.
jessica bern 724 (1).JPGJessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at and has worked her vlogging magic with, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.

INTERVIEW: HOP’s James Marsden

Role Mommy West Coast Correspondent Kristin Flannery got the chance to meet James Marsden, star of the new family film HOP, opening in theaters April 1.
chris and kristen photography-1077_2.jpgIn the live action/animated film HOP, opening April 1st, James Marsden plays Fred O’Hare, an out of work slacker trying to find himself and instead finds… the Easter Bunny! We sat down with James and had a fun, candy filled interview delving into his family life, how he broke the news to his parents that he was becoming an actor and what it’s like acting with a stuffed bunny!
Question: Does having kids and being a dad enhanced his performance as Fred O’Hara in any way.
James: “That’s kind of me, really. I’m just sort of a perpetual kid, anyway. Yes, I think Fred essentially has that about him. He had that experience with the Easter bunny when he was a kid and that opened him up to believing in some sort of magic in a world that doesn’t have a lot of magic. I think that’s one of the reasons why he’s been such a slacker about getting a job because he’s always felt that there was something more special out there for him. Having kids myself, it mostly informed my decision to be a part of the movie.”
Question: Do you now take movies that will appeal to his kids?
James: “When I see something like this come along, I know I can go to the premiere with my kids and they will enjoy this. You feel that you’re doing one for them. It’s fun to be the goofball and do all the physical comedy and they’re my gauge, too. I think, “Okay. My son and my daughter think this is funny, so I’m going to do it in the movie.” They keep me very young.”
Question: An underlying theme in this fun kids movie is not living up to your parents standards. When you told your parents you wanted to be an actor, how did they react?
James: “I had a really special and unique upbringing, I guess. My father’s a food scientist. He studies E. coli bacteria and different ways to process and handle food. And my mother works in the food industry, but she’s in finance in this office.They realized that I never really was that passionate about much while growing up. I wasn’t really into athletics. I did become so later. I was a musician. I played a little music, I didn’t write songs. I just did it because I could do it and then once I discovered theater and music by doing musicals in high school, I realized that people were thought I was good. And I thought, “Oh, they think I’m really good and I really enjoy this.”
When I told my parents I wanted to move to LA, I was actually not surprised. I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised because if my kids did that I would think, “Oh, God, you don’t want to do this” I got really lucky.”
Question: Did they put in a stuffed animal for you in place of the rabbit?
James: “They will come out with a stuffed animal and block the choreography of where he’s going, so I get an idea of what I’m looking at and what he’s doing and then they will take him out and replace him with little pieces of green tape on little wires that stand up.You just feel so crazy. By the end of the day, you never go home. Normally, if you’re acting with other people in a scene, you think, “Oh, that scene really worked today. I felt good about that.” You never feel that way with this. You go home and think, “I just was a crazy person all day talking to myself.”

Don’t miss James Marsden, April 1st in HOP, and see how his world is turned upside down when the Easter Bunny hops into his life. To find out more, visit the official HOP website at