Dear Single Mom Walking:
I read an article recently that said that most men tend to break up with their girlfriends around Valentine’s Day and Christmas. Sadly, this just happened to me, as well. My question is how could someone be so mean, couldn’t they at least wait an extra week?
Cupid is Stupid
Dear Cupid is Stupid:
Would you put a down payment on a house when you know you have no intention of living in it?
I only ask because you see, men look at gifts as an investment in their relationship. In their minds, they want to get something for their money. Translation: give a gift, get a love job, end of story. Now, if they are no longer interested in spending time with you, in their minds, at least, it would then make perfect sense to make their exit right at the moment when they are expected to put more money down.
It stinks, I know. I don’t blame you for being broken hearted. Valentine’s Day is a tough one. Around Christmas time, life sucks anyway, so getting dumped at the time would be crappy but certainly not worse than trying to find something nice to buy for every member of your family while having to stay within a twenty dollar gift budget and I’m not talking “per person” here.
Frankly, if it were up to me I’d make it a rule that on Valentine’s Day one is limited to giving cards only. I once told a boyfriend of mine that all I wanted was for him to write down what having me in his life meant to him. I will say that it freaked him out so much he ended up taking me out to an amazing dinner and promising that I would never have to meet any member of his family if I didn’t want to. I’m not stupid, so at the same time, I managed to slip in how important it was for me to have a clean house and if I recall correctly, he offered to pay for a housekeeper to come every Monday for the following six months.
Cross my heart, asking for the card was heartfelt. Seriously. I am the type of person that could hear my significant other tell me he loves me all the time but the last time I checked, most men would feel more comfortable having their balls spanked.
However, the one thing I have learned is that my significant other can also be just me. I’ve had many a Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and birthday where it is me celebrating me and believe it or not, I ended up treating myself a whole lot better on those occasions than pretty much any man I’d ever dated. Plus, on those nights when I went home and slept with me, when I woke up in the morning I knew I’d still be there and that I was most definitely not pregnant.
See, it ain’t all bad? You just have to look for the silver lining and I promise you, you’ll feel a lot better.
Check out Jessica’s take on Valentine’s Day in the current issue of Project You Magazine…
Jessica Bern is a single mother to a 7yr old girl, a money sucking dog named Teddy and the ex wife of a man who left her for his mother. She writes at bernthis.com, where you she blogs all about it and where you can watch the Bernthis web series she created about a neurotic woman’s journey through her weekly visits to her therapist’s office. She also spends some of her time giving out sex/dating advice over at rolemommy.com and has worked her vlogging magic with aiminglow.com, Kodak and Seventh Generation.
For more from Jessica Bern, visit her blog, Bern This.