Role Daddy: The V Word

A while back my wife appeared in a production of “The Vagina Monologues.” That’s right, my wife in “The Vagina Monologues.” A witty and well-done dissertation on all things Vagina. You can’t come out of one of those Vagina Monologue shows without knowing everything there is to know about vaginas. It was a great performance, but I think ultimately the best thing to come out of that whole production was how it’s empowered me to say the word “Vagina” a lot.
In that first paragraph you may have noted that I said “Vagina” 6 times. Six! That, in itself, is more times than I’ve seen the word vagina written out since I was reading scrawlings on desks at my middle school. Somehow I find saying “Vagina” very cathartic. Vagina.
Vaginas are fascinating to me. Not in a perverted sexual way. Well, maybe that too, but moreover the vagina is the portal to life! Teeny tiny microscopic sperm cell goes IN the vagina, relatively enormous living, breathing, screaming, hungry, farting mammal comes OUT of the vagina. The miraculous vagina. And it’s tremendously elastic, the vagina. And it can govern the behavior of males who are helpless in the face of its allure. And I even hear that if you’re thoroughly in tune with your vagina you can use your vagina to predict an earthquake. Wow! What a Vagina!
Surely the Vagina is worthy of our great respect. If I had a vagina, and I don’t, I would treat it with insurmountable dignity. I think there should be a holiday devoted to the celebrating the Vagina. There should be feasting, toasting, Vagina Carols, and great rejoicing, And if someone were to snidely refer to it as a “Hole-y Day,” I would surely thrash them into a coma for exhibiting a level of disrespect not befitting of the Vagina, the anatomical characteristic for whom I have the utmost respect.
Ya know, I’m not sure that, outside of my female health teacher in 8th grade, I’d ever uttered the word vagina aloud to a woman before. Somehow, though, when my wife and her friends were preparing to take the stage to perform The Vagina Monologues, I found myself perfectly comfortable urging each of them, as a derivative of the usual showbiz encouragement, to go out there and “Break a vagina.” Man did they ever. In a good way.
Vagina.
Thumbnail image for eric.jpgEric Ruhalter, his wife Kara, their 3 children, 2 female cats, and their vaginas live in Morristown, NJ. Eric is the creator of “The KidDictionary: Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids,” a series of hysterical gift books no one who has kids or ever was a kid should be without. Watch the video looking inside The KidDictionary series at www.TheKidDictionary.com. Vagina.

Role Mommy Fave Five

jlooscars.jpgThe New York Times has their week in review, but if you don’t have time to comb through it, here’s the next best thing…the five things you should have found out while you were working, carpooling, checking up on old friends on Facebook, you get my drift…
1. 80’s Actor Corey Haim found dead – Over at PopEater, where my friend Rob Shuter is a gossip columnist, you can find out all you need to know and more about how he died and his film and reality TV career.
2. You can use Verifone to process credit card payments on your iphone – for budding entrepreneurs constantly chasing after money, this is a great new option to charge your clients right on the spot and get paid instantly. Found out about this while watching Taxi TV. Cha Ching!
3. Great article on the Rise of Mommy Blogging in the NY Times – I knew I was onto something four years ago when I jumped into the blogosphere and now the NY Times has validated what I felt all along – parents want to hear from authentic voices and the best place to find them is online. And the best part is, blogging is becoming a lucrative career for many moms. Plus, some of my favorite peeps, Momfluential, Resourceful Mommy and Scary Mommy were featured. Nice work!
4. Ruffles are the New Black – If you watched the Oscars on Sunday then you probably learned one thing. Ruffles are so in, it isn’t funny. From J Lo to Demi Moore, every time I blinked, another ruffle dress appeared. Funny twist…guess which box office diva loves Ruffles potato chips?
5. The End of Hannah Montana – Okay – you do need to connect with your tweens too. If you’ve been hiding under a rock or too busy blogging, then you may not know that the last episode of Hannah Montana could be airing tonight. I still don’t know for sure since I never believe anything until I see it, but judging from last week, Miley is convinced that she wants to go back home to Nashville because her talking horse told her she must come home. Ooh, that is deep.