Who Knew Swine Flu?

It’s funny. I just got through telling my friends how I managed to stay cold and flu free this season and then BAM! I get walloped by some weird laryngitis/cough thing that’s been driving me crazy all day. I even took my own daughter to the pediatrician today because we were worried she had strep (no worries, just a cold) and as I hacked up a lung in the office, my kids’ jovial doctor looked at me and said “Maybe you should see a doctor and check that out. You shouldn’t take a chance with respiratory ailments.”
And that’s when I decided there’s something seriously wrong with pediatricians. If you’re a busy mom who is carting your kids to the doctor because you’re afraid they may have contracted swine flu and you happen to be sporting a nasty cough as well, would it kill the pediatrician to check you out too? Does that violate some code of ethics or something? Because all I know is that the last thing I want to do tomorrow is make an appointment with the glitzy Upper East Side doctor factory that I’m forced to visit when I suspect I’m suffering from a pandemic only to find that I’ve got nothing more than a chest cold.
The only problem I’m facing at the moment is that I’ve got two events coming up this week and at the moment, I have no voice. I’m even supposed to interview Lara Spencer from The Insider tomorrow morning and have no clue whether I’m going to sound like an old lady with smoker’s cough or if my voice will miraculously return. I guess it serves me right. Never brag that you haven’t gotten sick all year because when you disclose that piece of news, expect to contract bubonic plague within a matter of days.
To make matters worse, I decided to do a random search on swine flu and guess what symptom came up first? Coughing! Not a cold, not stomach pain, not fever, but a bloody cough. Well not actually a bloody cough, just an annoying cough. That would just be rich if I had the swine flu – I haven’t been to Mexico nor have we taken a caribbean vacation in years. So if it turns out that I could have contracted this cockamamie virus without ever leaving the tri-state area, I’m going to be really pissed. I’m sure I’m over-reacting and hopefully by Thursday I’ll be as good as new. But in the meantime, if you need me, you can find me inhaling a big bowl of hot steam. That’s my life…all glamour, all the time.