Just Call Me Chubsy Ubsy

It happened again. I went on my umpteenth diet, lost more than 10 pounds and just as summer hit, I gained almost all of it back. How could it have happened? I was so good. Loving all those Jenny Craig meals but not the huge bill that hit my credit card and so I ditched Jenny and figured I could weather the weight loss storm on my own. Those size fours looked so cute on me in February, March, April and even May but suddenly, it’s July and like “Groundhogs Day,” I’m back and I’m chubby again.
When I was in the fourth grade I even had the nickname Stubby Beth – not a name I’m proud of but I wear that moniker like a badge of honor – especially when I’m feeling and looking thin and trim. But unfortunately, my timing when it comes to dieting is always way off. I should start my diets in April or May so that when July hits, I don’t feel self conscious about my thighs, calves, stomach and those heinous Haddassah arms. If you’re not Jewish, I hate to exclude you but what that means is if you stretch your arms out wide, your under fat will start flapping in the wind.
I know I shouldn’t feel bad – I mean I can still squeeze into a size six – especially when I’m shopping at Ann Taylor Loft – gotta love that they always run those sizes so big, but frankly, I’m fed up that no matter how hard I try to lose weight I always succeed and fail time and time again. As I sit here digesting the three glasses of wine, steamed lobster and Weight Watchers key lime pie my mom made for us this weekend, all I can say is it’s time to buckle up, shut the trap and start watching the calories all over again. Either that or maybe it’s time for liposuction. Who am I kidding? I’m too chicken to go under the knife, and so it’ll be time again to pick the diet du jour. Hello, Weight Watchers? Remember me? It’s your old friend, Stubby Beth.

Has Cookie Monster Become Veggie Monster?

An important conversation took place today between my son and daughter. They are under the impression that Cookie Monster has been replaced by Veggie Monster. My daughter is convinced that in an effort to promote healthy eating among kids, the big blue monster has been given his walking papers. Could this be for real? Well, I wanted to find out for myself and I did a little googling and this is what I came up with.
So if it were true, would you sign a petition to keep Cookie Monster around? I certainly would and I know my kids would be right behind me. Nobody should tell Cookie Monster he’s got to ship out or go healthy. Can’t a guy with a sweet tooth catch a break?