The PTA President tried to coerce me into getting my daughter to join Girl Scouts. As thoughts of my child selling chocolate mint cookies swirled in my head, Madame President informed me that we’d have to host the entire brood at our house at least one Saturday a month…the one day my family actually gets out and does fun things together. To complicate matters, the bratty kid whose mom doesn’t talk to me anymore because my daughter blurted out that I thought she was a tyrant, was going to be in the group too. Considering I dropped out of Brownies when I was six and I don’t want to have a confrontation with that mom who hates me, it looks like we’re going to have to take a pass.
In order to keep my kids in their beds every evening, we’ve resorted to bribery. Before we tuck them in, we tell them that the bedtime fairy will give them each a quarter if they sleep in their rooms the entire night. Sure this little investment sets us back about $120 annually, but you can’t put a price on a good night’s sleep!
Whenever I go away on business, I promise my kids I will get them a present for every day that I’m away. A one day trip is easy, and two days has even proven to be a breeze. But lately, I’ve had to go on really long trips that lasted 5, 7 even 10 days. To make matters more complicated, when I’m overseas and busy visiting clients I sometimes have little time to take a road trip and start stocking up on souveniers. So what does a busy, working mother do when she has no time…delegate, my friend, delegate. If I’m away 7 days and have to get 14 presents (yes 1 present a day for 2 kids = 14), my co-workers whip into action. While I’m scooping up gifts and keeping a close tally, any time someone sees something remotely kid-worthy, they grab it for me and help me cross those gifts off my list. One time on a trip to Asia, I had my entire staff in a tear searching for 5 remaining gifts before we left the country. While I never did make my quota, the kids never found out. Thankfully for me, it’s a good thing there are gift shops on the way out of airports too.
Who knew boo boo bunny would be responsible for my breakdown. I’m a successful television producer. I’ve interviewed Academy award winners, world leaders, gone undercover and been under the gun to make the craziest deadlines ever known to man…not a problem. None of that phases me… Nope, it took a missing boo boo bunny to send me into a full blown panic attack. Boo boo bunny was a staple in my house when my daughter was a baby. By the time she hit four, boo boo bunny was long forgotten and had been MIA for quite some time….until she spotted him at her friend Ryan’s house during a playdate that is. The very next day, it was full on hysterics as she bonked herself and went looking for her long lost bunny friend. “Where or where is my boo boo bunny?” she moaned endlessly…my baby seemed absolutely broken hearted. Quick thinking mama that I am, explained that boo boo bunny was away at camp and would be returning just in time to pick her up from school. Not a problem, I thought..I’ll just stop at the store and pick one up before I head to school. Four stores and about six phone calls later..I learn the hard way that our special boo boo bunny friend is now discontinued. I’m in full blown eating, shaking panic mode at this point. After a quick trip to Ryan’s house (thankfully, his mom, Karen, is a great friend)…I borrow an old fashioned booboo bunny just in time to make it to school. I’ve also picked up three new boo boo bunnies which will take up permanant residence in our freezer. I tell my four year old that the old boo boo bunny is visiting for the day then he has to get back to camp but the new family will stay to keep us company. The old fashioned bunny will visit now and again of course…as long as my wonderful friend, Karen, allows me to borrow it on occasion. When her son notices that his boo boo bunny is missing, my friend simply explains that bunny’s away at camp.
I admit, when I get ready for work in the morning, I sometimes let my kids have the run of my bedroom. In my son’s case, things get a bit interesting when he goes exploring in our closet. For some reason, when my three year old surveys the area, he doesn’t gravitate toward Daddy’s side and try on a tie or a pair of loafers, he’d rather slip on a pair of mommy’s high heels, walk around the room and call out in a high-pitched voice, “Look at me, I’m a Girl!” One day, I even caught my daughter sticking him in her ballet costume…tutu and all. My friends tell me their boys fancy pumps too, so I guess it’s just a phase…I hope!
A new family has just arrived from Japan and their four year old boy seems to be my daughter’s newest best friend. His mom seems lovely but I can’t understand a word she’s saying so I’m basically filling in the blanks and giving her the benefit of the doubt. They’re expected to arrive at one and I’ve lied through my teeth saying I have a meeting and have to be out the door at two. I figure about an hour of playing playdate parent mad libs is just about as much as I can handle.