I'm Feeling Gymtimidated and I just Hate It
I recently joined a fancy new gym that's the size of two city blocks and I was really psyched when I first tried it out. The place was enormous and there's never a wait for any of the cardio equipment and at first, I really liked it.
The next time I visited, I decided to try out the classes and that's where the gym-timidation reared it's ugly head. I was taking a Zumba class and was falling all over myself trying to figure out the steps and was out of breath within minutes. Plus, the place was packed and I had a hard time finding my own personal space. And let's not even get started about all the LuLu Lemon wear in the room. I was wearing a pair of tight yoga pants and a CMA Awards t-shirt from 2002 - not my most attractive moment.
Another time I tried out a class, I was really looking for the cycling room and never found it so I took cardio barre class instead. At one point, when everyone had to walk over to the ballet bar, I was squeezed out of a space by a 60 something woman with the body of a 30 year old and then had to go to the front of the room and use a smaller bar with two other people. I never went back.
Don't even get me started on yoga. I would love to try the class but I know the instructor from a past life and am so gym-timidated to set foot in her class that I don't think I'll ever try it out.
On day six, I met with a personal trainer who gave me the grim news about my BMI and shocked me with my current weight on the scale. The following week, he scheduled a private session with me at 7am even though I explained that I had to go to the city that day and it would be a bit difficult for me to swing it but he made me confirm the appointment since he didn't work the days I actually work from home. He then took me through the paces, showed me how to use the equipment that would be best to get my butt, thighs and arms back in shape, taught me a little TRX and ended our session by trying to up-sell me with more personal training sessions. Since I am already paying $159 per month for the membership, I told him I needed to hold off on additional personal training sessions and he gave me the stat that most people who start training without a trainer fall off the wagon after two weeks.
Two weeks later, I am still going to the gym. And truth be told...I hate it. I do see some results since I've been using the cardio machines and took a little bit of the advice that personal trainer shared with me but frankly, I am tired of all the show offs at the gym. If you don't take a class and are in the weight area with muscle heads, they give you dirty looks if you attempt to bust into their circuit. And I absolutely hate when they drop those weights on the floor - they are not supposed to do it, but they do and nobody polices them ever. Plus, the women in the strength training area are literally climbing the walls because they are all doing that insane cross fit stuff that makes it seem like everyone is on steroids. I was even gym-timidated by a heavily perfumed woman on the rowing machine next to me. While I attempted to do a respectful 1000 meters on my machine, she kept giving me dirty looks as she was determined to stay on her rower until I finally dropped the rowing handle and vacated the premises. By the time I hopped off my machine, she had already logged 3000 meters and wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
The only redeeming quality about this new gym is that I have been able to catch up with one addiction - HGTV binge watching. Since my family hates that channel, I can watch The Property Brothers uninterrupted while I'm on the elliptical and frankly, that makes me happy.
There are a lot more amenities at this gym - an Olympic sized swimming pool which I will not swim in because I do not wear bathing suits in the winter (or the summer for that matter). A rock climbing wall that I will never try because I have already failed miserably with my own kids when they were little.
Meanwhile, the worst part of my gym-timidation experience is the fact that everyone who used to go to New York Sports Club who I didn't like because they were gym-timidating whenever I walked into the space, have all now joined the new gym. When I was in the locker room today, I was wedged between one chatty woman who I remember from my old gym but doesn't acknowledge that she's ever seen me before. A few rows down is someone else I remembered who used to ignore me at NYSC too. And how could I forget the "Guido the killer pimp" guy from my old gym who also can't stop talking and struts around the gym like a peacock. He's busy chatting up the other muscle heads and prancing around like a peacock at this gym too.
The final straw are the kids. These days, parents have no problem shelling out hundreds of dollars each month for everyone in their family to head to the gym with them. That means that the cafe is overrun with preschoolers and I have lost my patience with them already. I don't need to have a three year old push me out of the way for a bag of Pop Chips. And far be it from their parents for disciplining them ever. They are too busy climbing the ceiling, bench pressing their spouse and doing 3000 meters on the rowing machine.
So what's the verdict on my gym experience? I think I need to quit the fancy gym, go back to my no frills gym where everyone has left, hit the elliptical and turn on HGTV. Or maybe I should just order a Peloton bike or join Planet Fitness since they have a no gym-timidation policy and they only charge $10 a month so how could you go wrong with that! I just know that I can't keep going to this gym. I think it's time to go back to basics and spare myself from gym-timidation for good!