Undercover Mom

Good Grades or Good Manners?

This week, I attended an incredibly eye opening event hosted by NBC Universal called "Power of the Purse." The brunch, which took place during advertising week in New York City was targeted to moms and featured one of my favorite Role Mommies of all time...Sarah Jessica Parker. SJP was on hand to react to findings of a new study about what is truly weighing on the minds of today's busy moms.

While the survey shared many important results - including the fact that moms want to be accurately portrayed in the media and feel we're not or that fathers secretly long to switch roles and become stay at home dads, the statistic that struck me most was the fact that 77% of moms surveyed said they'd rather have a kid with good manners over one with good grades. Even SJP has this to say about her own son, James Wilke:

Untitled from beth Feldman on Vimeo.

As someone who went through life striving to achieve good grades while having good manners along the way, I have to admit that as a mom, I have witnessed embarrassing behavior from my own kids and from other children too. When either of my kids do something that is inappropriate or rude, we call them out, make them apologize, or take something away from them so that they know we're not going to stand for that behavior. However, most moms I've seen simply cave in so that they don't have to deal with their kids' despicable behavior.

Just last week, I was waiting for my daughter to get a haircut, as a woman walked inside with her three children. The kids' ages ranged from 3-6 years old and as I sat trying to read a magazine, the whine factor was driving me nuts.

"Mommy, why can't I get something? I never get anything," wailed a three year old boy.

"What do you mean sweetheart? We just came from the supermarket and I bought lettuce and bananas and all kinds of good things for you and your sisters," his mother responded.

"But you never get me anything!" He wailed louder and then burst into tears.

Never get you anything? For Pete's sake, you were in the supermarket with your mother. Every time you step into a store doesn't mean you're supposed to get something!

Fast forward to another incident when a mother confided that she didn't want to take her daughter with her to an important event because she knew she would just be annoying, would complain about being there and frankly, she just didn't want to deal with her attitude.

Seriously?

Now don't get me wrong. I've been in those situations when my 12 year old doesn't want to spend time with us, but at the end of the day, we still make her go. And you know what? When she does, she actually has had a pretty good time. The more we cave into our kids' demands, the more we are going to find that we are truly raising little monsters. Entitled kids who tell us to jump and we bow to their every demand and ask, "How high?"

Frankly, I don't want to play that game anymore. I want my kids to do the right thing. To respect others. To look out for one another and to stand up for those who aren't being treated right. But the more that parents continue to put up with the whining, the demands and complaints without sending them to their room to reflect on their deplorable behavior, the more that behavior will only get worse. Fast forward just one decade and watch what is currently unfolding in the workforce.

If you've been working for more than two decades like me, I'm sure you've begun to notice that there's an entire generation of college grads today who have some of the worst manners I have ever experienced. Raised with a sense that they could do no wrong, many of today's millenials continually question authority or blatantly tell their bosses that they don't agree with the direction they've been given. Sure, we've had years of experience under our belts, but in the eyes of many kids who came of age in the world of Mark Zuckerberg, we are dinosaurs who have no clue. Frankly, many of these kids have bad manners who are singlehandedly taking down successful businesses with their laissez faire attitudes. If they don't like a job, they quit within a matter of months. If they don't agree with their boss, they will argue until they think they've been heard. And if they believe they have been treated poorly, they will gossip and complain to anyone who will listen.

I don't know about you, but frankly, I don't want to raise a child who disrespects authority, has no regard for others and is so ego driven that they never look out for anyone but themselves. I want my kids to get those good grades, but more importantly, I want to raise my children just like Sarah Jessica Parker - I want them to be good citizens.

I do have to say that this year, I had a really nice conversation with one of my son's teachers. We were at "Meet the Teacher" night and it just so happened that my daughter had the same teacher just three years ago. I remember her being lovely and supportive and my daughter truly enjoyed being a student in her class. As we gave one another a hug, she said something that truly made me smile.

"I don't know what you're doing Mrs. Feldman, but all I can say is keep doing it. You're children are such nice kids. It's truly a pleasure to have them in my class."

Now if that's not an instant A, I don't know what is.

Posted in: Blogger Buzz, Role Mommy Confessions, Undercover Mom on 10/08/2011

Hit and Run by a Porsche SUV

There is nothing more frustrating then riding along in your car, minding your own business, only to be rear ended by the car behind you who rather than playing the part of good samaritan so you can exchange insurance information, tears off like a bat out of hell so that he doesn't have to pay the price for the damage he's just caused to the back of your Volkswagen Tiguan.

Such was the sad state of affairs that unraveled yesterday afternoon as my husband, son and I attempted to visit a dear friend in Queens. We were stopped at a traffic light, I was engrossed in the new Jaycee Dugard book "A Stolen Life" - when out of nowhere, my book hit the dashboard and I jerked forward. My son let out a yell from the back and my husband, turned his head and instantly whipped into action. He quickly exited the vehicle and when he informed the other driver of the SUV that we were fine, the guy agreed to pull over to the side so we could exchange insurance information. But just as we were making our way to the curb, he took off. But not before my eagle eyed son and husband memorized his license plate. In case you like to play the license plate game and happen to see this one during your travels, please give us a shout out:

NYC Plate
CGM-8534

Turns out that after we did a police search on the plate, it's a gray Porsche SUV - yes, a ridiculously expensive car that pretty much demolished the back of my Tiguan - completely missing my bumper, but mangling my license plate, crushing some metal and destroying my rear camera. Incidentally, after calling 911 five times - they don't come that fast if everyone is perfectly fine - a police car finally arrived at the scene nearly two hours later to file a report. Now here's the real kicker - the guy in the gray porsche with the license plate #CGM-8534 won't even get a ticket if he's caught. Since no one was hurt, the case would head to civil court and we'd have to sue him for damages.

Honestly, now is about the time I would call in John Quinones and his ABC show "What Would you Do" and see which people would flee the scene and who would stick around and do the right thing. I mean, I've heard stories of people who left a note on someone's window to call them after they've accidentally damaged their car. Not so in my case. My bumper got an unexplained beating from someone who hit and ran when I wasn't there; I've had more car dents in my doors than I care to discuss; and this past week, the hood of my car was pelted with hail during a freakish storm in Westchester County. Guess you can't sue Mother Nature so I'll have to make due with paying our deductible in order to get our car back in top shape.

I guess I should be grateful that we were safe. Simply an inconvenience rather than something far more life threatening. What I've learned from this experience is that people show their true colors during tense situations. In this case, a creep whose car is registered to someone in Balboa, New York decided to take off for the hills and not own up to his responsibilities even though he was driving a car whose price tag is higher than most people's annual salaries. I have no idea if it was in fact that man's car or if he was simply going on a joy ride. Either way, I say Kharma is a bitch. Hey CGM-8534 - bet you never thought that your hit and run would hit the blogosphere. Well, think again. Here's hoping our insurance company will find you and make you pay for the damage you caused to our car. And if they don't track you down, well hopefully one day this little incident will catch up with you. Doing the right thing speaks volumes. Doing the wrong thing gets you called out on my blog.

Posted in: Undercover Mom on 08/08/2011

How Independent is Your Nine Year Old?

I've been contemplating writing about that horrific story of the little nine year old Hasidic boy who was abducted by a deranged man in his community and senselessly murdered.

What hit too close to home for me was that the child was nine - the same age my son is now. The boy, who was doted upon by his protective parents, asked them to give him the chance to walk home from day camp by himself for the first time in his young life. His parents agreed and his mother showed him the way before letting him do it by himself. Unfortunately, when the boy became disoriented and asked for directions, his innocence was taken away by an unstable man who abducted and killed him and then mutilated his body so that no one would find evidence of his disappearance.

When I think back to my own childhood, I remember walking home from school in the fourth grade and letting myself into my home while my parents were at work. I was a total latch key kid. In my situation, I knew exactly where I was going, traversed the route hundreds of times and oftentimes walked with friends back to my home. In the case of my nine year old, I am ultra protective and would never dream of letting him walk alone without an adult or a friend by his side. In fact, just this year, we gave our 12 year old daughter a cell phone and she now knows that the moment she leaves our house and reaches the bus stop, she must stop whatever she's doing and call us to let us know she's arrived safely.

My nine year old doesn't own a cell phone and he won't receive one until he's ready for middle school. While he can technically walk around the corner to school on his own, we choose to accompany him so that we know he arrives safely. Truthfully, that decision is not motivated by the prospect of him being kidnapped, but the simple fact that there are reckless drivers in our neighborhood who race up and down our streets without paying attention to whether pedestrians are in their path.

If my nine year old were to ask me if he could walk home by himself, I would say no. In fact, I said no to my daughter for nearly two years. As much as she wanted to assert her independence and walk to school on her own, I just didn't feel comfortable - especially since she had no way of getting in touch with us to let us know she arrived safely.

While the Hasidic community installed security cameras that inevitably led to the killer's arrest, I truly believe as a parent that if you decide to give your child some freedom, in this day and age, they should be armed with the tools they may need to protect themselves in the event they get lost or are approached by a stranger. A cell phone can truly be a lifeline for a child and may have played a role in saving that poor little boy's life. Please know that I am not passing judgement on his parents and their actions that day. My heart aches for their loss. In fact, having seen this story unfold in the news only makes me want to hold onto my nine year old just a little bit longer each morning, hoping that my hugs will serve as protection while I'm at work. May this experience give people a wake up call. Even if your child asks you to do something, you don't necessarily have to do it. You are the parent and it's okay to say no.

As far as my own son, he won't be walking by himself until he's in middle school and has access to a cell phone. As long as he has a device in his possession that he can use to call me, his dad and 911, I'll have peace of mind knowing that while he may be out of sight, he's only a phone call away.

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 07/18/2011

Children Under Three Not Admitted!

I have to come clean about something on the Role Mommy front. Now that I am a mom with kids who are well behaved at restaurants, movies and libraries, I have to say that parents with little ones who erupt in places they shouldn't be in the first place, really irk me.

Case in point: This afternoon, my husband and I took our nine year old son to see Kung Fu Panda 2, which incidentally, is just as funny as the first film and features even more enjoyable characters this time around. We'll share our review in a separate post, but for now, let's focus on the topic at hand - bringing toddlers and babies into an environment where they just don't belong.

While laughing out loud during the film, we started to hear some whining noises coming from the front of the theater. As we tried to pay attention to Po and Master Shifu, the whining began to turn into full fledged crying. Now if this were a four or five year old who was acting out during the film, I totally would have given the parent a pass. But this minor, who was throwing a tantrum during one of the funniest animated films of the summer, had to have been under two years old. In fact, I'd be surprised if she was more than a year.

Now parents, I know you want to keep your older kids entertained, but bringing a baby into a movie theater when you know full well they are like ticking time bombs who can explode at a moment's notice? I've even seen adults bring their toddlers along to late night movies - figuring they'd fall asleep while their mom and dad caught the latest R rated action film to hit theaters. Big mistake.

Here's the deal parents of babies and toddlers: If you can't get someone to watch your child while you take their brother or sister to see an animated film, then wait until it comes out on DVD or order it on pay per view. Trust me, when they finally do reach the age where they can sit still in a movie theater, you too will be annoyed like everyone else when you see a parent bring a baby into the movie that you paid good money to watch without any interruptions from the audience.

Personally, I feel that movie theaters should not allow parents to bring children under the age of three years old into a film even if it's rated G. Movies cost a boat load of money and when you bring your little one into a theater and they spontaneously combust, you've just ruined the experience not only for yourself, but everyone else. In fact, we were tempted to hunt that woman with the baby down and ask her to give us our money back. By the time the film had ended, she was nowhere to be found.

As for restaurants my advice is simple - stay away from romantic restaurants until your child is at an age where they won't throw their food or scream every time you attempt to have a conversation with your spouse. Better yet, find a sitter and go out without them. They'll be happy because they're not confined to a high chair and you'll be psyched because you'll actually have some time to yourselves. If you can't find someone to watch your child, then head to a kid friendly restaurant with decent food (our personal fave is California Pizza Kitchen), give them crayons and a placemat and have them go to town.

Trust me, the movie and restaurant experience gets better as your kids get older. The only thing that gets worse is having to decide whether a film is appropriate for your child - but that's a can of worms we'll tackle another day.

Now it's your turn. Do you mind when people bring babies into movie theaters or quiet restaurants?

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions, Undercover Mom on 06/11/2011

Did I Kill Brothers & Sisters?

While I am not an official Nielsen family, I have a bad feeling in my stomach. You see, I've betrayed a really nice family. Let me rephrase that. I don't actually know them, but over the last few years, I have made it my business to watch the trials and tribulations of the Walker family. From the sudden deaths, cancer scares, heart attacks, car accidents, failed businesses and parenting woes, I truly felt that "Brothers & Sisters" was the best show on TV. But then Rob Lowe left, Sally Field got a radio show and started dating, Becca and Justin broke up and Ken Olin just looked plain dumpy and nothing like I remembered him from "Thirtysomething." And so, I changed the channel. And it appears that millions of other people did the same thing too. And sadly, I just learned that "Brothers and Sisters" was cancelled.

So where did I decide to spend my Sunday evenings? I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have to say that this year's "Celebrity Apprentice" has had me hooked and despite the competition, it has become appointment TV for me. Don't get me wrong. I now have a special place in my heart for Meatloaf. I am amazed by Marlee Matlin and John Rich and even Lil Jon has grown on me. And, I am thrilled that Nene Lekes, the real housewife who bad mouthed half her team and bullied the other half, quit the show and Star Jones got the heave ho after being pissed off at Meatloaf for calling her "Sweetie." For the record, Meatloaf, you can call me "Sweetie" any day of the week!

Personally, I have been amazed at what the teams have been able to accomplish for their chosen charities - having raised unprecedented funds for incredible organizations like St. Judes Children's Hospital. I even grew to love Latoya Jackson and was thrilled to see her come back to the show, only to be eliminated 90 minutes later. "Celebrity Apprentice" truly brings out the best in some people and the absolute worst in others. As far as who I'd like to see win, my money is on a showdown between Marlee Matlin and John Rich - although I think John will win the top prize.

I know it's a sad state of affairs when cheap to produce reality shows capture America's attention, but for me, when it came to "Brothers & Sisters," I grew tired of storylines that no longer had me on the edge of my seat. "Celebrity Apprentice" instead, does just that and more. Whenever Donald Trump presents a new challenge to the teams, I sit back and conjure up how I'd spearhead the campaign, come up with a tagline and kick the other team's butt.

Over at "Brothers and Sisters," the relatability factor seems to have disappeared. Even working mom Sarah seemed out of touch with the masses. This year, the one show that has hit home for me (aside from my reality addiction) is "Parenthood." The reason? "Parenthood" is real and honest. It's filled with conflict, comedy, angst and tear-filled moments like the season finale, which had me looking like a crumpled mess on my sofa and thankfully ended happily. So, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sending my heartfelt apologies to the Walker family. I truly did love all of you at one point in my life, but sadly, I have moved on. And unfortunately, so has ABC.

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 05/15/2011

Kids Safe Week: The Right Way to Use 911

I just hopped off my commuter train after having a serious discussion with my girlfriends. At what age do you feel comfortable letting your tween roam free in a mall, movie theater, or walk to the local salad shop by themselves?

For my husband and myself, our comfort level is still a bit shaky when it comes to dropping our daughter off at the mall with her best friends. Perhaps it's because I grew up in Brooklyn and at the tender age of 15, had my wallet stolen right out of my bag (with over 100 dollars in cash that was lifted along with it). We do allow our child to walk to the bus stop which is a few blocks from our home. Plus, I recently let her walk with her friend to the local sandwich and salad shop. But for me, I currently draw the line at the mall and the movies.

As a parent, it's just as easy to take your child to the mall or the movies and give them some independence while you're just a few hundred yards away. I've already done that in both places and have to say, this past weekend, I got to see "Water for Elephants" all by myself while my daughter and her friend saw "Soul Surfer." For me, it was the best of both worlds. And for my daughter, she and her friend got to see the movie they wanted and had a ride home immediately following the film. A compromise that worked out for both of us.

I know it's important to allow tweens to assert their independence. And believe me, I am getting there. It might be baby steps for some and others - especially those who live in the city may think I'm over protective - but for me, it's about safety and trust. Plus, I happen to enjoy taking my daughter to the mall where we can spend some one on one time and talk about the issues she's facing at school and with her friends. The mall is not a babysitter and at 12 years old, a young girl can act mature and responsible or do something completely irresponsible - like throw pretzels over a railing while unsuspecting shoppers are pelted as they walk by. This scene was witnessed by my daughter and myself and I warned her if she ever did something like that, she wouldn't be seeing the inside of a mall for a very long time.

I'm sure our readers may have differing opinions on this topic - feel free to weigh in. And, in recognition of Kids Safe Week, we'd like to share some important tips from Smart 911. If you are giving your child the opportunity to travel to a public location by themselves, make sure you arm them with this information before they head out the door!

The New Rules of 9-1-1

1) Communicate your exact location: When calling 9-1-1 from a mobile phone, 9-1-1 operators are rarely able to pinpoint the caller's exact location. Especially if you are in a densely populated area, or if you live in an apartment building, it will be important to communicate this immediately.

2) Find out if your city or town has 911 texting capabilities: While you may often choose texting over calling to friends and family, only select cities and municipalities in the U.S. provide the option to text with 9-1-1. Find out if your city or town offers text support.

3) If you get a recording, don't hang up: The call you place stays in the telephone switch queue for up to two minutes even if you get a recording. The 9-1-1 operator will call the person back when they do receive it, but by then you may be in a cycle of phone tag, prolonging the process even further.

4) Make sure you have multiple ways to dial 9-1-1 and have a backup plan: For those who still have a landline phone in their homes, choose a landline when calling 9-1-1. However, keep in mind that most often this phone is a cordless device and will not work in the event of a power outage. As a backup, make sure your mobile phone is always charged--purchase a car charger if you don't have one.

5) Find out if your city/town has a system to record life-saving information used when calling 9-1-1: It is important that first responders have access to information, such as medical conditions, disabilities allergies and number of resident or pets in the home, and can link your mobile number to your home address. Find out if your city or town has any systems in place that you should register for.

About Smart 911...
Smart911 allows citizens to go online and enter life-saving information about their health, any disabilities, family members, pets, photos, home address, etc., which instantly appears on a 9-1-1 operator's computer screen when a call is made. This is particularly important if a child goes missing - before an Amber Alert can be triggered, the police have to acquire a photo of the missing child, which causes a delay. With Smart911, parents are able to upload a high quality photo of their child to their Smart911 profile in advance, and an Amber Alert can go out much more quickly.

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 04/25/2011

You Gotta Know When to Hold Em

More and more parents these days are deciding to hold their children back a year from starting kindergarten, also called "red shirting." Parents of children who will meet the age requirement to start kindergarten by only a few months (especially if they are boys) may grapple with this important decision. I have some friends who are going through it now and it can be stressful. After all, your child's entire future depends on it!

Ok, that may be an over statement, but it can make a difference. On one hand, you don't want your child to be the smallest, least mature or struggle academically. But on the other hand, maybe a little challenge is good for them, and you don't want them to get bored or be too much ahead of their peers. Sometimes the decision can be easy. If the child is in preschool and is very shy or delayed in speech, and is not socially on par with the other kids, another year before kindergarten may be a no-brainer. But what if the child is doing everything the other kids are doing but his or her birthday falls around the cut off date? Parents are torturing themselves over a date? And speaking of dates, the cutoff for kindergarten varies from state to state, sometimes even within the same state! Some places it's September 1st and others it's January 1st, it's all so complicated.

There is some controversy over the whole "redshirting" idea. Some say parents hold their kids back so they will be the smartest or the most athletic. And if everyone starts to do it, is there an added pressure to do it too so that your child will not be even farther behind? More than 10 percent of all preschoolers are redshirted for one reason or another. That may mean paying for another year of preschool and supporting your child another year before they enter the workforce. That is not always as feasible for the lower class, so this issue is more prevalent in upper and middle class areas.

Although most adults vaguely remember kindergarten as an idyllic year of naps, snacks and feeding the class hamster, it has become ever more academically demanding. Kindergarten is not what it used to be, they even give homework!?!? So what is all this telling you? I am not an expert in this field so I am not here to give advice, just get the conversation going. My personal opinion would be to make sure to weigh all the options and do what's best for your child (obviously). Talk to his or her teachers and observe them around the other kids. Remember, big differences at ages 4 and 5 all balance out in the next few years. And after all, your child is a genius no matter what, right?! ;)

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 04/04/2011

Alicia Keys Names Baby Boy Egypt

What's in a name anyway? A lot say our friends at Baby Name Wizard who I'm sure have a lot to say about singer Alicia Keys recently naming her baby boy after a middle eastern country.

I remember when I was wracking my brain contemplating what to name my daughter, the names of countries, continents and cities never entered my brain. We had decided to go with a traditional name - Rebecca and then went a little creative with her middle name - Drew - (because I love Drew Barrymore). My son's name also went the cool/traditional route - Dylan Jacob. But never once did I think about naming them Scarsdale, or Mesopotamia or Yonkers for that matter.

So what is it with celebrities naming their kids after countries and continents? I guess Egypt is an interesting name. There's no nickname to that one though so this little guy will always be known as Egypt. What kind of job can a kid like Egypt get. Financial planner? Nope. Doctor? No way. Lawyer? Think again. The only thing Egypt is destined for is rock star, rapper, actor, model or fashion designer.

It's funny. When we were thinking of naming our son, I initially wanted to call him Jack but when we thought of the last name - Feldman all we could think of was an 80 year old man in Florida ordering an early bird special. So Jack Feldman was squashed.

I wonder whether Alicia Keys and her partner belabored as much as we did over naming their child. Did one of them want to name the kid Madagascar while the other opted for Egypt? Were there any other countries in the running? And why Egypt? Do they have ancestors there? Was he conceived there? Is it just cool and nobody else's kids' name is Egypt? I guess one will never know.

Nonetheless - what's the weirdest baby name you've ever heard? And what's the coolest? Is it just celebrities who lay claim to unique baby names? Share your story and enter to win an annual subscription to the brand new Baby New Wizard expert program - which features all kinds of cool options for finding the perfect baby name. Make sure you comment with your email address though!

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 10/16/2010

Bill O'Reilly & Jennifer Aniston Face Off

Over the past 24 hours, the Internet has been abuzz about what Bill O'Reilly said about Jennifer Aniston. Or was it what Jennifer Aniston said about single motherhood? No matter - in a nutshell, Aniston, who was busy promoting a new film said that she thinks that women who don't find the right guy to marry and raise a family should just do it on their own - they don't need a man to help them if they really want to have a child. Could that be a hint of what the future may hold for Jen?

No matter, within hours after she made those fateful comments, conservative talk show host Bill O'Reilly came out with guns blazing. Shouting above a din of female panelists who I believe were on hand to defend Jen but didn't get the chance, O'Reilly reasoned that Aniston's comments were destructive to men because it marginalizes how dads are involved in the child-rearing process. He then said that 12 and 13 year olds are getting a bad image about motherhood through Aniston's comments. The only problem is, Jennifer Aniston isn't a role model to 12 and 13 year olds - most tweens and teens I know don't even know who she is - then again my daughter knows her as the mom in "Marley and Me." In reality, Jennifer Aniston is a role model to 30 and 40 somethings and last I checked, I didn't think she was setting such a bad example for my generation. She's all that and a bag of Baked Lays.

In fact, if Jennifer Aniston decided to raise a child on her own, I personally would be thrilled for her and that baby because he or she is going to be raised by one of the most beloved actresses on the planet who still has the best hair known to womankind.

To find out more about the O'Reilly vs. Aniston debate, check out Naughty but Nice on AOL Pop Eater...they've got the inside scoop and much more! And, to find out Jen's response to Bill O'Reilly's comments, visit our friends at HaveUHeard.

Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 08/11/2010

Sweaty Days and Wednesdays Always Get Me Down

Was having a fabulous day - worked out of my virtual office near Grand Central Station where I typically freeze for about five hours in a heavily air conditioned office. Then at 3:30pm, zipped over to the Plaza hotel where I got to see some of my favorite bloggers from Chicago and New York City at a fabulous event sponsored by Dyson. Incidentally, as we dined on tea sandwiches and caught up with friends, we were introduced to Dyson's latest creation - an air multiplier with no blades...amazing! We even found out we'd be receiving one to try out at home and while I was psyched by the news, I didn't think much about how it would impact my life at that moment because I was comfy cool chilling out at the Plaza.

And then I had to leave and catch my train. Did I mention I was wearing heels, a summer dress and a light sweater? I started walking and looked everywhere for a cab but sadly, they were either off duty or occupied. And so I kept walking.

In my heels.

Carrying a 40 pound purse that contained my flats, laptop computer, files, keys to my house and a few sticks of lipstick...which reminds me - I still need to get to Sephora to pick up foundation and eyeliner but that's a whole other story.

So I keep walking. And still there are no cabs in sight. I contemplate opting for a pedicab but I'm low on cash and figure I can make it there by foot as long as my train is on a decent track (anything from 35-42 will suffice). I arrive with four minutes to spare and as fate would have it, I'm on track 110 or is it track 112 or was that 114?

No matter, I run like the wind in my heels, carrying my two ton bag as I think about the havoc I'm wreaking upon my back, neck and shoulder. But I keep going. Up two flights of stairs, walk another 1000 feet, down an escalator, shoving myself through the crowd.

I get to the bottom of the escalator and I'm on autopilot. I race up to track 114 and the conductor gives me a smile. I heave a sigh of relief, hurl myself into a seat, check my emails and hurriedly get back to work.

Except it's now 6:20 and the train isn't moving yet. And so I ask the tell tale question: Am I on the right train? Well, that depends. If I had planned to take a trip to Dobbs Ferry tonight then "Yesirree Bob you have come to the right place!" But I need to get to Scarsdale. Uh oh. Wrong train!

I grab my laptop, throw it in my bag, along with my heels, fling my 4 ton purse over my shoulder and run as fast as I can. Did I mention my feet are now covered in blisters? I walk down two flights of stairs and discover my track is in what seems like Guadalajara.

And so I hoof it.

Up 75 stairs.

Trudging at least a half mile.

Dripping in perspiration.

While I began my day feeling cool and refreshed in a pretty Ann Taylor Loft sun dress, I've now morphed into a sweaty hot mess and stink to high heaven.

I finally arrive at my destination and wipe myself off with the lone napkin I grabbed from the water lady who was selling her wares next to Track 36. I collapse into my seat. Take a deep breath, flip open my laptop and start sharing my tale of woe.

And now I'm almost at my stop. The sweat rivulets have finally stopped trickling down my neck and while I still smell pretty awful if I wave my arms, I feel like a human again.

Nothing like a wrong turn to make you appreciate a fancy new fan.

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions, Undercover Mom on 08/04/2010