Rolemommy

Role Mommy Confessions

Where Oh Where Has My Little Girl Gone?

So my daughter has been at sleepaway camp for a little over 24 hours and I am suffering from full blown withdrawal. I keep visiting her camp website hoping they've posted some more photos of all the campers, but every time I click through the 30 plus pages, I've only managed to see her in two group shots (and there are already more than 400 pictures up on that site so far!) My usually candid social butterfly is nowhere to be found! I mean, I noticed the little girl she boarded the bus with, but my Becca is MIA.

Could it be she's been crying for hours and they don't want me to see her all puffy and sad? Or maybe, she's so busy writing us letters that the photographer wasn't able to capture that perfect shot to show us that she's doing just fine. I have to say though, if I don't see a photo of her soon I may be emailing that camp to at least have them send out a smoke signal to verify that a) she arrived safely and b) she's having a great time.

Meanwhile, I've already written her about 10 letters since she's left (I know it's only been 1 day), and I stuffed 8 notes in her bag and mailed one out to her this morning. Something tells me that by the time she gets back I will be publishing a new book entitled "Letters to Becca...the summer I lost my mind missing my daughter."

In the meantime, my son is having the time of his life - he's officially an only child for four weeks and he couldn't be happier. Right now he's with his dad in the park and earlier this evening, he played the Wii and used my computer without anyone fighting him to get off and give them a turn. The only downside of his sister being gone is that her kitten has gotten even more psychotic (as if that were possible). None of us can stay in the same room with Hazel because if we do, she pounces on us when we least expect it, bites at our extremities and claws us until we have to banish her to the basement. And my poor son was gauged in the face when she leaped out of thin air and landed right on his cheek. Oh, and let's not forget about yesterday when she came careening off the 2nd floor landing into a glass vase that shattered all over the floor. And guess who had the great fortune of cleaning it up. She wrote the essay you're reading right now. Mystery solved.

Time to hit the road so I can figure out what I'm going to write in my next letter to Becca. Better yet, maybe I'll check the website again for photos. You never know when my daughter will finally realize she's got to throw herself in front of the camera so that her parents know she's doing just fine.

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 06/29/2009

Test Drive Anyone?

One of the perks of being a blogger and knowing my good friend Kim at TravelingMom.com is that I get to have some really cool experiences. Like the one that pulled up in front of my house today. For the next two weeks, I'm going to be able to test drive the 2009 Nissan Murano SUV and so far, the car looks great, handles the road really well, and it has already met my daughter's approval since the second row has heated seats.

Check out our blog post on Traveling Mom for the latest on our Nissan Murano test drive. And take a look at the car...pretty cool.

Posted in: Role Mommy Confessions, Role Mommy Recommends, TV on 06/28/2009

My Role Daddy

In honor of Father's Day, I'd like to introduce you to my dad, Neil Stoller. My dad is truly one of a kind. From an early age, he was a performer - entertaining crowds starting at age three with his rendition of "Don't Fence Me In." From there, while he had a passion for theater, he also loved sports and in junior high, he played basketball on a team named "The Comets" with fashion icon Ralph Lauren! Although back in those days, Lauren was better known as Ralphie Lifschitz. Incidentally, my dad's nickname was Butch.

As he grew up, dad auditioned for the High School of Performing arts and made it! And while his dream was to become a professional actor, Dad came of age when heartthrobs like James Dean were all the rage. And so, rather than move to Hollywood or try his hand auditioning for a Broadway show, Dad attended City College, worked in his aunt and uncle's bakery in Brooklyn and eventually decided to become an educator after he married my mom (his childhood sweetheart) when they both graduated in 1962.

By the time my brother and I came along, Dad's favorite sport was tennis - he played regularly on weekends and then encouraged both of us to take lessons too. While he was a bit of a tough coach, Dad actually was a great motivator and in high school, I even won a few trophies as a doubles player for my tennis team. My only downfall was that every time Dad watched one of my games, I usually choked and lost the match.

While my parents bought a home in the poconos so we could escape the humidity and concrete jungles of Brooklyn, Dad used to work summers to bring in extra money. During the year, I remember that he worked by day as a special education supervisor and then he'd make extra cash selling roofs for Edelstein & Sons. I also recall when my mom was attending graduate school, Dad would serve us TV dinners - which he fondly referred to as "radio dinners" - giving us permission to watch our favorite television shows in the den while munching on fried chicken.

Despite his busy schedule, my father always did what he loved. From tennis, to performing in community theater, to taking us to the Amish Country, Gettysburg, Washington DC and eventually Israel, Greece and Italy too, Dad has always made the things he loves an important part of his life.

When I worked as a publicist at CBS, I used to take Dad with me to the CMA Awards so that he could enjoy the performances and help me out on the red carpet. One of my favorite memories was when Dad took on the glorified role as water boy - racing around the red carpet offering bottled water to Brad Paisley, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, among many other country music artists. My friends in Nashville loved seeing my dad every year and when he wrote them a song called "The Jewish Cowboy," he pretty much became an honorary member of the Country Music Association.

Today, while my dad has been retired from the Board of Education for more than a decade, he pursues his passions even more. He plays tennis and golf several times a week, takes tap dancing lessons with my mom - and even made the cover of the Southampton Press since he was the only man among the group of Senior hoofers. Dad also performs every year in the Palm Isle Players sold out theatrical production in Boynton Beach Florida along with my former dance teacher Ms. Phyllis, who serves as the group's musical director. Dad also applies his love of history, coupled with his incredible gift of gab as a docent at a museum in Stonybrook, NY. And, he has written several yet-to-be published children's books and is also hard at work on his memoirs.

So if anyone wants to know where I get my indomitable spirit and optimistic outlook on life, then all you need to do is meet my dad. Neil Stoller is my Role Daddy and all I can say is I am so lucky to have been raised by a man who truly loves everything that life has to offer.

Happy Father's Day!

So now it's your turn...who's your Role Daddy? Inquiring moms want to know!

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 06/21/2009

There She Blows

Stand back because I'm about to spontaneously combust.

Can someone please tell me why when my kids have playdates that last until dinnertime, when they spend another hour with my DH on the playground laughing and running around like lunatics, then another 60 minutes watching a back to back marathon of iCarly, they don't complain that their braces are killing them until it's time to go to sleep?

That's exactly what transpired tonight. Other than breaking up the usual sibling battles that seem to take place on a regular basis at my house, my kids didn't complain about their ailments like an elderly couple until it was time to brush their teeth. Within minutes, my happy go lucky kids turned into Jekyll and Hyde.

While my son complained last night about a cut on his face (that hadn't been bugging him until it was time to go to bed), tonight it was my daughter's turn. At 9:15 pm, she decided to inform me that her braces were killing her and she couldn't find the wax she had been using to dull the pain. As I searched the house for the wax and she continued to get hysterical, demanding that I take her to the orthodontist, my blood began to boil. You see, she just spent the entire day laughing, playing, fighting with her brother and not once did she complain about her teeth. And then, when she knows there's no possible way I can track down the orthodontist and force her to open the office at 10 pm, she decides to burst into tears and wail that she's in agony.

While I should have turned into Florence Nightingale and lovingly help her as she affixed wax to her metal brackets, I took a different route. I lost my cool. I bellowed that she could have told me her teeth hurt earlier in the day and I would have instantly run her over to the orthodontist. But now, the orthodontist's office was closed and I had to go to the city the next day which means if I have to take her to the orthodontist, I'll now have to race home and get over there before the place closes. Aargh!

I know - I'm heartless but honestly, why can't kids tell us they're in pain during office hours? Ever have a mommy dearest moment? Don't be shy. Even Kate Gosselin had a bad day this week when cameras caught her spanking her daughter. Inquiring moms want to know.

Posted in: Role Mommy Confessions on 06/17/2009

Countdown to Camp

So we are T minus two weeks until sleepaway camp and today, since we only had one soccer game and a supermarket run - and completely spaced on my son's daycamp orientation, I spent several hours shopping for more required items for my daughter's four week getaway.

Meanwhile, my friends who are pros at this have been packed and ready for weeks and their camps are actually picking up their trunks in two days! Thankfully, we get to load my daughter up with her bags when we ship her off on June 28 so that gives me more time to buy a lot more stuff.

Today we loaded up on Soffe shorts - for anyone who doesn't know about Soffe shorts, they're mini gym shorts that are all the rage and at $8 a pair, they're at least one item that doesn't break the bank.

On the pricier side were the speedo bathing suits I snatched up at two different stores. And even though both locations were running a sale, my daughter had better be fit into those suits for at least two seasons. Hey you never know - that Olympian-approved swimwear should come in handy during color war.

Next, we stocked up on 20 pairs of underwear and socks, and then hit the linen store where we picked out a satiny comforter, sheets with 200 thread count, cheap towels, bath mat, a mattress pad and and a new pillow. By the time we were done, the shopping bags filled my entire trunk and I wondered how we were going to fit everything into her bags.

When we returned, I lugged everything upstairs to my daughter's room, laid everything out on the bed, grabbed an ink stamp with her name on it and started to go to town labeling everything in sight.

I then shoved everything into both of her trunks - at this rate you'd think she was sailing the Queen Mary for a month - and miraculously, everything fit. We still do have a few more things to pick up, but I have to say, I am pretty relieved that we're more them halfway packed.

Wait a second. I still have to buy toiletries, shoes, sneakers, sandals, more t-shirts, a few dresses, jeans and pajamas - and there's only one more weekend left to shop! For all the moms like me busy packing camp trunks, here's hoping I'm not the only one who is behind the eight ball.

Posted in: Role Mommy Confessions on 06/13/2009

Countdown to Sleepaway Camp

We piled into the car yesterday morning so that we could take my daughter for her new camper orientation at Camp Echo, located a mere 90 minutes from our home and sandwiched between Middletown and Monticello.

The moment we arrived, we were greeted by enthusiastic counselors who immediately whisked my daughter off for a day full of activities. Meanwhile, we spent the morning fighting off swarms of displaced gnats - it seemed the exterminator had paid a visit and now the gnats didn't have a home - so they decided to spend the day hovering in front of our faces. Everywhere I looked, I thought people were waving at me but all they were really doing was swatting at those pesky bugs.

Anyhoo - back to the camp. My daughter was treated to a perfect day filled with basketball, baseball, arts and crafts, music and lunch. My son meanwhile, joined us on a quest to find something fun to do while my daughter was getting acclimated. Unfortunately for him, the only thing we found were outlet stores and gift shops - pure paradise for me, but not so hot for a seven year old. But we did discover a village called Sugar Loaf where we bought him a leather bracelet at a store I'm convinced is a frequent haunt for bikers with tattoos. At another quaint shop, he set his sights on a wooden dinosaur filled with a mini brontosaurus, a pre-historic rhino, velicoraptors and fauna. After plunking down $40 bucks--this sleepaway camp thing is costing even more than we anticipated--he set out to build a mini dinosaur village as we grabbed lunch at one of the three restaurants in town.

By 3 pm, it was time to pick up our daughter, who had already made two friends and couldn't wait to officially pack her bags and move in. Other than the "learning how to make your bed lesson," she pretty much had a stupendous day and I'm sure will be begging me to extend her four week stay (not gonna happen). And after he saw my daughter chowing down on s'mores at pick-up, my son has already decided that he wants to go to sleepaway camp with his sister next year too. I don't even want to contemplate that one - he's the one who is supposed to stay with me until it's time for me to enter an assisted living facility. Okay - maybe just until he gets married. Either way, my kids are growing up before my eyes and while I'm enjoying watching them turn into mini adults, I wish things would slow down a bit. I guess what they say is totally true - childhood goes by in a flash - time to get my head out of my laptop so I don't miss a minute of it.

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 06/07/2009

Directionally Challenged

After a harrowing ride alone last evening, I have officially decided that driving in New York City is downright treacherous. Between the tailgaters, the potholes, the roadways that get flooded during torrential downpours and the construction sites that overpopulate our highways and bridges, I have become accustomed to using one route to drive to and from Manhattan. And that route is as follows:

Hutchinson County South to the Cross County, to the Saw Mill Pkwy, drive over the bridge, then travel down Henry Hudson Parkway to the West Side Highway and then Bam! I've arrived.

My simple route has served me well over the years and even when I've driven through rain and snow storms, my auto pilot tactics have enabled me to anticipate every bump, tree branch and turn in the road.

Unfortunately, when you've got to visit another part of Manhattan, like the South Street Seaport for instance, the West Side Highway scenario as simple as it is, just doesn't make sense. And so, that means that I need to rely on plan B - my GPS system.

You see, yesterday, I was fortunate enough to be invited to a private dinner hosted by Cookie Magazine at Panasella and Enoteca - a cozy wine bar at the South Street Seaport. Since I began my trip with daylight on my side, I only made one wrong turn (jumped the gun on a Bruckner Blvd. turn) but other than that, I made it to my destination unscathed. I even had 15 minutes to hop inside a bar to grab a diet coke before our wine tasting extravaganza.

The evening went by in a flash and I will give you the 411 in another post that'll tackle all the hot topics we spoke about (names will be changed to protect the innocent). Before I knew it, it was time to hit the road. I stepped outside and luckily, it had stopped raining so I figured it would be an easier ride back home. While something inside me wanted to drive the rest of the way down the FDR and hit the West Side Highway, I decided to be sensible, turned on the navigation system and threw caution to the wind.

At first, everything went pretty smoothly. I merged onto the FDR and started traveling north and as I glanced at my dashboard, I noticed the GPS suggesting I veer off to the right to the Deegan Expressway - a roadway I have never traversed as a driver. I'm sure I've ridden along that bumpy highway as a passenger, but I had no clue which way I was going and that GPS woman just kept sending me into what felt like a foreign country. And then it got worse. Rather than take the Triboro bridge where I was ready to happily wave my EZ Pass and go on my merry way, my Tiguan veered off in the direction of the Willis Avenue Bridge - one of the last remaining free bridges in Manhattan that seems to be made entirely of metal grating where your car slips as it drives over the surface. I then hit a third highway I didn't recognize. From there, while I saw signs for my Hutchinson Pkwy. exit which I knew would finally put my mind at ease, the GPS decided against that option and took me instead to I95 - a truck infested roadway that has always been my nemesis since college.

I loathe I95 - except for those McDonald's rest stops of course. And the reason I hate that highway is because every time my GPS told me I was supposed to exit the highway, it kept jumping the gun. I almost exited twice before I finally hit the Hutch and thankfully, I was able to merge back on the interstate or else I would have wound up in the sequel to "Bonfire of the Vanities." As my heart rate and blood pressure reached dangerous territory, I finally found the exit and slowly loosened the vice grip around my steering wheel.

Within 10 minutes, I had finally reached Scarsdale and by 10:09 pm, I was home safe and sound. After I exhaled, I was relieved that I had conquered my fears by successfully navigating some of the most challenging roadways in the Big Apple. But don't give me a bravery medal just yet. Next time, if I'm driving to Tribeca, Nolita, the Meat Packing District or the South Street Seaport, it'll be the West Side Highway all the way. I may be directionally challenged, but I'm not an idiot!

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 06/04/2009

How Will You Be Remembered?

While I usually write about lighthearted topics, I've decided to tackle something a bit heavy today. The reason is that a terrible tragedy took place on our block this week. One of the nicest neighbors we've ever had the pleasure of knowing was killed in a car accident.

Although Murray was 83 years old, you never would have guessed it. He had the energy of someone 30 years his junior and was always so friendly, thoughtful and genuinely concerned about our well being. Yesterday, we attended his memorial service and what we discovered was that while Murray may no longer be with us, he touched countless individuals in his lifetime.

Murray was a devoted husband who lost his wife more than a decade ago. But over the last five years, his daughter in law introduced him to a lovely woman who became his constant companion. She was one of the first to speak about how lucky she was to have met Murray and thanked him for being such an important part of her life and for being by her side while she underwent chemotherapy. His daughter and two sons shared heartfelt stories about their dad who clearly was a role model to all of them. His heartbroken granddaughter told how her life will never be the same without her "Papa."

Murray's 22 year old grandson was incredibly eloquent when he expressed how his grandfather was one of the brightest stars in their lives and while he disappeared in a flash, his impact--much like a shooting star--will have a lasting effect on future generations. His co-workers talked about his devotion to his career and to the workers he inspired as one of the most well-respected engineers in the construction industry. A childhood friend of his sons shared how much he admired and respected "Mr. Fleisch" and reminisced about how he practically grew up at his home. But most touching of all was his friend of 71 years who, while choking back tears, told how Murray was the big brother he never had, how he sent him supportive letters while he served in the Korean War, was always there for him during some of the most difficult times in his life and how he looked forward to dining with him every Wednesday. In fact, the day he died, his friend was planning to visit Murray at his home so they could catch up on the week's events.

As tears were streaming down my face, I reflected upon the legacy Murray has left behind. He was a loving husband, incredible father, doting grandfather, a leader in his industry, a consummate friend, devoted to his faith and a wonderful neighbor. And that's how he will be remembered. Murray was a true gentleman in every sense of the word.

So now here's your turn. How do you think people will remember you? Are you racing through each day too busy to enjoy your family, your friends and life in general? Perhaps this Memorial Day Weekend it's time to take stock in what's most important. I certainly learned an incredible life lesson as a result of this tragedy and know that at the end of the day, it's about touching lives, inspiring others and being the kindest person you can be.

Rest in peace Murray. You will be sorely missed.

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 05/24/2009

The Mad Dash Part II

When last we posted, I shared the embarrassing saga about being late to my son's birthday party. I didn't anticipate that school traffic, a random fender bender and rush hour would throw a monkey wrench into my perfectly punctual record but alas, I am not perfect. Never have, never will be.

Rather than being 5 minutes late to the party, I was 15 minutes late because I stupidly drove around the same level in the parking lot 10 times. Remember that scene in National Lampoon's Vacation where they keep seeing Big Ben and the Parliament? Well that was me on Level 2 of the White Plains City Center. Thankfully, after noticing that the cars and the people on that level looked pretty familiar, I finally took another turn and started going in the right direction.

When I arrived at the party, I walked about 500 yards to find the "sweat box," I mean swimming pool and was pleased to see that my son did not really mind that I hadn't made it there on time. So despite the overwhelming guilt I felt for not being there to start the party, it turned out, he was perfectly fine. The rest of the party went off without a hitch. The kids swam for another hour and then it was time for pizza and cake.

And so ends the story of the Mad Dash. Now I've gotta dash to take care of my under the weather son, a hungry daughter and a feisty kitten. Did I mention that my older cat is now in the cat hospital with pancreatitis or some sort of bad infection? Turns out the kitten stressed him out so much that he put his system into shock. Looks like we all need a break. Thank goodness for holiday weekends!

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 05/21/2009

The Mad Dash Part I

I'm usually an extremely punctual person. When someone tells me to arrive at an event at noon, I get there at 11:50 am just to be safe. So yesterday, when it was my son's birthday party and I had to pick up his photo cake in a location that was approximately 20 minutes from my home, I figured it would be a piece of cake (pun intended). I managed to host my radio show (listen in above), and raced out the door to pick up the food while assuring my DH that I'd make it in time for the party.

The one thing I didn't anticipate however, was traffic. While I hit some stop and go traffic on the way to Stew Leonards, I raced inside the place, picked up the cake, a crudite and fruit platter and juice boxes within five minutes flat. I then raced to my car and hit the road. Except something happened on the way to me making it to the party in record time. School dismissal. I made a fatal turn (not actually fatal so no worries here), when I drove directly into a line of cars that were stopped dead in their tracks as a school was letting kids out for the weekend.

I then spent the next 15 minutes in a traffic jam that did not move. And I actually felt like Michael Douglas in that movie where he loses his mind in a monster traffic snarl. I even started screaming at the top of my lungs. But no one would move.

I'd love to finish the story right now, but that would mean I'd be late for soccer so with that, I will leave you with a to be continued. In the meantime, download my blog talk radio show and laugh.

Until next time...

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 05/16/2009

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03/16/2007: I Love Fruit Snacks

03/11/2007: Tissues, Toilet Paper and Sales Receipts

02/25/2007: When Did I Become Old?

02/23/2007: *Great Confession from our Role Mommy Giveaway Winner!

02/16/2007: The Guilt Trip

02/05/2007: Say Goodnight Gracie

01/31/2007: *Melinda's Confession...Winner of Our Giveaway for The Pepper Kids!

01/31/2007: Divide and Conquer...The Rebuttal

01/27/2007: Divide and Conquer

01/19/2007: Folk Dance Frenzy

01/11/2007: Confessions by Marion...Birthday Madness

01/07/2007: Confessions from Design-her Gal

12/26/2006: Funeral for a Friend

12/10/2006: The Fish

12/03/2006: The Princess and the Band Aid

11/25/2006: NOBODY HOME...

11/19/2006: BUY OUR NEW BOOK...Peeing in Peace!!!

11/11/2006: Why Bother

11/03/2006: The Grapes of Wrath

10/24/2006: SHOPPING ON THE FLY

10/13/2006: CROTCH CONUNDRUM

10/02/2006: The Dishwasher

09/29/2006: LOST IN SUBURBIA? by Tracy Beckerman

09/21/2006: The Mix Tape

09/15/2006: Taunted by a Tamogotchi

09/10/2006: I'm Changing My Name

09/08/2006: LOST IN SUBURBIA? by Tracy Beckerman

09/02/2006: THE HUMAN COAT RACK

08/13/2006: WE'RE TORTURED BY THE WIZARD!

08/09/2006: LOST IN SUBURBIA? by Tracy Beckerman...In the Pink©

08/08/2006: The Holey War

08/06/2006: Mr. Bed Hog

08/04/2006: Pet Peeve

07/26/2006: LOST IN SUBURBIA? by Tracy Beckerman..The Fungus Among Us©.

07/22/2006: The Escort Service

07/20/2006: The Guilt Trip

07/13/2006: LOST IN SUBURBIA? by Tracy Beckerman...Greetings From Disney World©

07/05/2006: L.A. Weight Gain

07/04/2006: The Necklace

06/25/2006: No Kicking Please!

06/14/2006: Back to the 80's

06/09/2006: The Diet

06/06/2006: The Minnie Van

06/01/2006: rolemommyconfessions

05/26/2006: rolemommyconfessions

04/06/2006: rolemommyconfessions

01/14/2006: It's Been a While

11/08/2005: Confession #7 - Pediatrician Paranoia

11/07/2005: Confession #6 - Get Me Outta the Girl Scouts!

11/07/2005: Confession #5 - Bedtime Bribery

11/07/2005: Confession #4 - Souvenier Insanity

11/07/2005: Confession #3 - The Boo Boo Bunny Mystery

11/07/2005: Confession #2 - Did Desmond Tutu Ever Wear a Tutu?

11/07/2005: Confession #1 - Painful Playdates

11/06/2005: Who needs to go to confession when you've got a blog!