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Gucci Diaper Bags, Wine and the Green Eyed Monster

I know I shouldn't be jealous, but by nature, I'm a pretty envious person. Since the time I was a chubby fourth grader, I've always been envious of the girls who managed to fit into a size 12 slim pair of Jordache Jeans or Sergio Valentes. I was never a 12 slim. In fact, I think I owned one pair of Sergio's - from the Junior section - and I never remember it fitting too well around my chunky frame.
So now, over two decades later, I am still the chubby fourth grader, staring at the skinny girls, wondering to myself, will I ever squeeze into a pair of Seven's or Lucky's or whatever hot pair of pants are all the rage these days? Sadly, I don't think I will. Why do you ask? Simple - I like food and wine way too much.
But let me bring you back to why I decided to write this post in the first place. You see, I was dining at one of my favorite restaurants the other day (California Pizza Kitchen) - okay, my tastes are pretty simple - when I looked across our table to find three new mothers who were perfectly coiffed, perfectly dressed, with babies in their car seat strollers, sipping wine and pretty much enjoying their new status as SAHM's. There was no way possibly these ladies worked - and if they did - man do I wish I looked like that when I had a newborn. As I attempted to eavesdrop on their conversation - and was unfortunately too far away, I decided to survey the landscape instead and what I saw blew my mind.
One of the women - the one with the perfectly blown out honey blonde hair and flawless make-up, had her precious bundle in the Rolls Royce of strollers...a buggaboo - but of course. And directly across the table from her, one of her friends had what I would like to call, the Gucci of diaper bags...actually, it was a Gucci diaper bag. Now last time I was in the market for a diaper bag, I didn't recall Gucci throwing their hat into the ring, but guess what - they've got a diaper bag now!!! I couldn't believe this woman was carting around soiled diapers, desitin, formula and cheerios inside that bag, but I guess, if you can afford it, flaunt it baby.
So there it is. Yes, I am an incredibly jealous person. I admit it. I wish I were a twig following the birth of my two kids. I wish I could fit into designer jeans and not feel like the circulation is being drained out of my thighs, I wish I could have carted my kids around in the coolest, most expensive stroller known to mankind. And dammit, I wish I had had the guts to plunk down my credit card and fork over $1000+ for a Gucci diaper bag. But you know what...there's something I know that these ladies will eventually find out once their kids hit those terrible two's...
The bugaboo will be collecting dust in the garage, the diaper bag will be covered in crumbs and smelly formula stains and those favorite skin tight jeans will either be too tight to wear since they've been inhaling one too many chicken nuggets - oh - who am I kidding? Dare to dream right? In reality, I'm sure by the time their kids hit the toddler years, the au pair will take care of everything so that these ladies can hit the gym and wine and dine alone!

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Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 04/21/2007


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