Divide and Conquer
A little disclaimer before we begin this story. The names of the family members have been changed to protect embarrassing the innocent.
John and Julie are busy attempting to feed their three kids when the youngest, Matthew decides to sprint out of the room with a fork in his hand. Mom always said, never run with a fork...
Suddenly, from the living room, both parents hear a loud scream and then a wail. It's Matthew.
After tripping off a fringe in the area rug, Matthew accidentally stuck the fork he was running with in his eye. As Julie races over to assess the situation, John stays in the kitchen with their other two kids. Tears are streaming everywhere, Matthew has broken the skin and Julie can't determine whether he's poked his cornea and whether she better grab their coats and head to the emergency room.
Meanwhile, completely unfazed, John walks into the room and says, "I'm going to take Erica and Jason to see "Night at the Museum."
"But Matthew just stuck a fork in his eye! I may have to take him to the hospital," Julie replies in horror.
"That's okay - you take him to the emergency room, I'll take the kids to the movies."