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Comment on My Guilt Blog and You Can Win!!!

Okay dear readers. I never ask you to comment on my blogs. For the most part, I know you are reading them silently and chuckling to yourself and saying, damn that Beth is one funny writer and then you go off and finish making your kids' lunch or something. But today is going to change all that passive behavior. Today, you will comment on my site because if you do and if you do it well, you can win something.

I'm participating in a Parenting-challenge sponsored by coComment which will be giving away fabulous prizes if you join in on the effort.

Details from coComment are below:
Courageous parents,

Have you dealt with temper tantrums, sulky teenagers, and dirty diapers? coComment would love to hear your trials and tribulations about raising children. We invite you to take the time to muse about these situations and how you overcame them.

The goal of this coComment Parenting Challenge is to promote discussion among parents using our popular vehicle of commenting on websites and blogs. This challenge will allow you to share your views about cranky teenagers, terrible two's or getting your kids to be adventurous eaters. In our 30-day challenge, you have the opportunity to win cash or prizes equivalent to $150.

Visit the following blogs as they will post daily topics, and by posting comments you will have a chance to win within our 30-day Challenge:

www.rolemommy.com
www.mainstreetdiaries.blogspot.com
www.mommytrackd.com
www.therojopelo.blogspot.com
www.themomsalon.blogspot.com

Winners will be chosen in each of the following categories:

(1) Best Advice
(2) Most Popular Discussion
(3) Most frequent commenter
(4) Commenter that spurs most discussions
(5) First to comment

So without further ado, here's my topic du jour - get ready, get set to comment away!

The Guilt Complex
It's 10:48 pm. Do you know where your children are? Well, mine are snug in their beds after their dad tucked them in so I could sit in the den and type away like a mad woman before I get ready to pass out and start another marathon day. I don't know about you, but after leaving my big corporate job I have been working non-stop. Rather than focus on growing one company, the Type A woman that I am went into overdrive and started building two. Simple, make money from PR but still do what I love (that would be the writing and networking with other fabulous moms). But something happened on the way to building my businesses - guilt from my kids, guilt from my DH and my owner inner guilt that makes me take a step back and say hold on a second - it's time to put the work away and make more time for my family.

I guess the straw the broke the camel's back came over the weekend when we returned home from a crabbing trip and I instantly raced to my computer so that I could blog about it. I know I got a bit carried away - since I was away from my trusty MacBook for more than 24 hours. And so, I spent a few hours surfing the web, returning emails, blogging, surfing, reading some of my favorite blogs and by the time I turned around, it was time for the kids to go to sleep. I had actually spent 3 hours online while my kids watched their favorite Nick and Disney shows and when my husband came home from meeting an old friend, he informed me that earlier that day my daughter confided she's not too happy with my addiction to the Internet. In fact, everyone in my household (including my cat) is fed up with my BlackBerry and computer fixation. So much so that they are now putting limits on when I use my technological devices so that when I'm with them, I don't get distracted and focus my attention on them and not a client, or a random Facebook message.

As we near the end of the summer, I've realized that I do need to do things in moderation or else one day, my daughter will tell me to my face that all that time spent in front of the computer could have been spent with her. She's already nine and the time literally feels like it's slipping away from me. My babies are no longer babies and while having a successful career is fulfilling, I don't want to wake up one day and realize I missed out on the best time of my kids' lives because my head was buried in my laptop. I guess it's time to give myself permission to take a vacation. I mean, I am the boss. I've earned some time off for good behavior and maybe if I do take a short break, this overwhelming feeling of guilt will melt away - or at least subside for a week or two.

Now time for the comments - are you feeling guilty that you're not spending enough time with your kids or your husband? Has technology taken over your life? Speak now and you can win a prize!

Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 08/12/2008

Comments

  • The Greek Goddess

    Ever hear of the "GG's"?, its stands for the greek guilts...haha, but seriously....I think we have all gotten away with getting obsessed with things from time to time and we feel we deserve to do something for ourselves after all the time, caring and loving we give our families...but its the right time you have to choose to do those things that won't interfere with the kids and family time...life is sooo short and one day your kids are lovin' you around all the time at school, events and playing games and before you know it they are always gone gone gone...so pace yourself with time on your computer and maybe do it early in the morning, when they are at school or at night really quick, choose times it won't interfere with your family time and so your kids won't think that hunk of metal is more important then their cute little smiles....

  • You know I'm only a phone call away! But here are some quick tips for dealing with guilt associated with technology:

    1. Honor thy kitchen timer and keep it holy. Meaning, set the timer for 15 minutes and then do something else. Play with the kids, go outside, maybe breaking up the time into increments might be easier on everyone.

    2. Do unto others and try to consider if they would do unto you that way too. Meaning, if you find you are getting responses from other people such as "I need to get back to you after I spend time with my family." Take that as a cue that you are investing more in them than they in you. If they aren't putting you first in line, then you need not put off your own family needs. The prioritize, you prioritize and all is right with the world.

    3. Legalize, regulate and moderate. Try to sit down together as a family and come up with Rules to Live By. The purpose being to determine just how much screentime everyone feels is managable/tolerable. The when's and wheres. Yes, spell it all out! Post them on the doorposts of your house, as well as on the doorposts of everyone's bedrooms, the kitchen and wherever the technological gadgets can be found.

    And do ask yourself "In two weeks will it matter if I read this email immediately or waited until the kids are asleep or after I've had hot monkey sex with my husband?" This might help you figure out if you can let something wait for a bit.

  • Imagine, if you will, that you are a stay-at-home mom and your two children go away to summer camp for SEVEN weeks. You want to talk about guilt? I have the MOTHER of all guilt! The other 45 weeks of the year I am so busy catering to their needs I feel like a mombot. Then, all of a sudden, they are gone. Woosh. Happily off to the wilds of the Poconos where they will swim, and play ga-ga, and NOT brush their teeth or their hair or fold their clothes and they will have a fabulous time being independent and unwashed. And even though I know that they are having a fabulous time, I will still be overcome with guilt. Why? Because after joking all winter with my husband when he asked me what I did all day that I was "just sittin' around eating bonbons," I am now, actually, just sittin' around eating bonbons.

    Of course I have my column to write and a tiny bit of laundry to do and I still have to feed the dog and the lizard and the chinchilla. But for the most part, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. (Do you hate me?).

    The sad part is I have a lot of trouble enjoying my vacation because I feel guilty that I am a stay at home mother with no one to mother.

    Ask me about internet guilt, or pedicure guilt, or even time-on-the-toilet guilt anytime during the rest of the year. Right now I have camp guilt and I will keep feeling guilty until they get off the bus on saturday and then I will feel instantly unguilty and immediately wish I had more time to myself. :)

  • Sarah&aposs Mom

    I too feel guilty about texting. My 6 year old took and old blackberry of mine and she is constantly fake texting. It is bizarre.

    But my real guilt lies in being jealous of other kids. My daughter is in soccer camp this week and every day they give out a player of the day. She never gets it. One girl won it yesterday and today even when a little boy won it, they commented on how great the girl from yesterday played again today! Rude.

    I saw my daughter! She was in there kicking her little heart out. My husband thinks today's kids get too many awards but it kills me when she doesn't. I don't care about other parents, I just want her to know she is as good as the others even if she doesn't have that stupid piece of paper.

    Arrgh!

    I will keep telling her she's awesome but I have to contol my jealousy of 6 year olds.

    ;)

  • I SO understand the challenge. I'm constantly renegotiating how I spend my time. What helps is that when I'm working, I'm totally working. When I'm with my kids, I try to be totally into whatever we're doing together. As moms, it's not easy juggling everything...that's for sure!

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